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" If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie. "
Hal Sparks
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" If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life. "
Hal Sparks
" 'Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker. "
Hal Sparks
" I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security. "
Hal Sparks
" All musicians need a day job in the beginning. Unless they still live with their parents, I guess. I'm just lucky that my day job is simply another form of art. "
Hal Sparks
" I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community. "
Hal Sparks
" It's better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money. "
Hal Sparks
" I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that. "
Hal Sparks
" Vegas has the Whitman's Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You have to find the heartbeat of the room. It doesn't shift my jokes, but it shifts my timing and my attention. "
Hal Sparks
" If I have anything, it's tenacity. "
Hal Sparks
" If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer. "
Hal Sparks
" Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song. Until I heard 'Little Earthquakes' all my lyrics used really obvious analogies like rain for tears. "
Hal Sparks
" There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing. "
Hal Sparks
" Growing up in Kentucky, I used to hang out with four running buddies as a kid - 6, 10, and 11 years old. Two of them would later come out, and so 50 percent of my friends as a kid were gay. "
Hal Sparks
" You'd think after 8 years of things called 'The Patriot Act' and 'No Child Left Behind' they would know that we have figured out the 'Call it what it ain't' PR ploy by now, but... um... no. "
Hal Sparks
" Mainly, when I go see a show, unfortunately it's more industrial espionage than it is going to actually enjoy a show. "
Hal Sparks
" I've been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old. "
Hal Sparks
" It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money. "
Hal Sparks
" You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love. "
Hal Sparks
" The name 'Charmageddon' actually comes from a social technique that I use. Which is, you know, literally obliterating people with charm so that you can get away with saying stuff that no one else could ever get away with, you know? "
Hal Sparks
" I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things. "
Hal Sparks
" I'm a futurist. "
Hal Sparks
" I like struggle. "
Hal Sparks
" I try to be as ignorant about things as I can. "
Hal Sparks
" Political and social change is always a stagger-step process. "
Hal Sparks
" Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams. "
Hal Sparks
" The important thing is having genuine regard for your audience. "
Hal Sparks
" People only have guilty pleasures when they crowbar pleasure down their throat all the time and then they reach for the brownies. Then you should feel guilty because you're killing your body and that's something to be guilty about. "
Hal Sparks
" Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids. "
Hal Sparks
" If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture. I think it's important to have substance for what you're saying. "
Hal Sparks
" People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction. "
Hal Sparks