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" Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn't matter what you believe. "

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" I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about. "

" When I see a headline 'Guess who's going out with who?' I don't guess, and I don't click. "

" Making people laugh is easy for me. I'm quite proud of that. But I'm prouder of silencing an audience for a minute because they're thinking about something. "

" I've avoided doing a network comedy, because I wouldn't get my own way. Even though it would get more viewers, it wouldn't be mine. "

" The grass isn't always greener on the other side! "

" I like flying to New York from London. It's like a day off for me. No phone or e-mails. Food, wine, iPod, movies, snoozing. "

" I don't mind what people say about me as long as it's an opinion or the truth. If someone says, 'He's the worst comedian in the world,' that's fine. If someone says, 'His face makes me want to punch the TV,' that's fine. But if they say, 'Oh, and I know for a fact he hunts squirrels,' I go: no, no, no... that's a lie. "

" I think you can make fun of anything except things people can't help. They can't help their race or their sex or their age, so you ridicule their pretension or their ego instead. You can ridicule ideas - ideas don't have feelings. You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them. "

" I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause. I think, 'Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.' "

" I think Spielberg is a master. I think 'Jaws' invented a genre. "

" Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential. You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun. "

" I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine. "

" Comedy is easy for me, but with drama, I don't know... it's still the Holy Grail. "

" If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it. "

" I'm a scientist at heart, so I know how important the truth is. However inconvenient, however unattractive, however embarrassing, however shocking, the truth is the truth, and wanting it not to be true doesn't change things. "

" The great thing about being an artist is, we want our work to be seen. "

" I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars. "

" A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. "

" I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian. "

" People now live their lives like an open wound to be famous - they do bad things because they're rewarded for it. "

" I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet. "

" Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it. "

" If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey. "

" I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like 'Tootsie,' 'Marathon Man.' Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, 'The Graduate' - incredible, barrier-breaking movie, 'The Graduate.' "

" The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty. "

" When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous. I didn't like the word 'celebrity.' I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins. "

" I think it's important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself. "

" I see my real job now as - never mind 'The Office,' 'Extras,' film career, Emmys - I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is. "

" That's the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it's in your head. And then it's just how little you ruin it. "

" All of my friends are oddities. "