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" If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "
Mel Brooks
Wives
Country
Presidents
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" I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances. "
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" A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance. "
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" When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin. "
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" I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front. "
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" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "
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" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "
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" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "
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" Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director. "
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Both
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" I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up. "
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Win
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" A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. "
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Cinema
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" I only direct in self-defense. "
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" Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. "
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Jump
Life
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" I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all. "
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Rather
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" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "
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Be Brave
You
Risk
" All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security. "
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Women
Wife
Short
" I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel. "
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Like
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Army
" Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love. "
Mel Brooks
Based
Fear
Everything
" I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter. "
Mel Brooks
Love
I Love
Writing
" If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none. "
Mel Brooks
Beat
None
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" A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote. "
Mel Brooks
Blessed
Anxiety
Balance
" Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance. "
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You
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Chance
" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. "
Mel Brooks
Mistakes
Spinning
Long
" Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius. "
Mel Brooks
Short
Say
Normal
" Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. "
Mel Brooks
Just
Around
Life
" I wish I was better looking. "
Mel Brooks
Looking
Better
I Wish
" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "
Mel Brooks
Character
Always
Back
" As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me. "
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Far
Mean
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" Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. "
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Said
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" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "
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Tragedy
You
Die