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" All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security. "
Mel Brooks
Women
Wife
Short
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" These men both publicly and privately have done so much for me. Without Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick I would be living in a little motel just around the corner here, trying to make ends meet. "
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Men
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Me
" It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't. "
Mel Brooks
Talent
Got
Either
" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "
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Always
Yourself
You
" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "
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Tickets
Fly
Funny
" A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance. "
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Mathematics
Lot
Music
" Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them. "
Mel Brooks
You
Ideas
Support
" If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none. "
Mel Brooks
Beat
None
Got
" If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. "
Mel Brooks
You
Win
Trade
" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "
Mel Brooks
Good Work
Immortality
Work
" I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat. "
Mel Brooks
Soldier
Months
Last
" No, no, the songs write themselves, almost. "
Mel Brooks
Write
Themselves
Almost
" Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'. "
Mel Brooks
Simple
Sweet
Know
" As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me. "
Mel Brooks
Far
Mean
Me
" I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all. "
Mel Brooks
Rather
Jewish
Because
" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "
Mel Brooks
Work
Well
Stupid
" I wish I was better looking. "
Mel Brooks
Looking
Better
I Wish
" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "
Mel Brooks
Tragedy
You
Die
" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "
Mel Brooks
Be Brave
You
Risk
" Humor is just another defense against the universe. "
Mel Brooks
Humor
Against
Defense
" I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel. "
Mel Brooks
Like
Me
Army
" A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. "
Mel Brooks
Cinema
Movies
Up
" Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy. "
Mel Brooks
Big
Laughter
Size
" Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance. "
Mel Brooks
You
Good
Chance
" He who hesitates is poor. "
Mel Brooks
He
Hesitates
Poor
" I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn. "
Mel Brooks
Burn
Mission
Torch
" My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. "
Mel Brooks
Out
Most
Job
" I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous. "
Mel Brooks
Dangerous
Rock
Like
" I only direct in self-defense. "
Mel Brooks
Self-Defense
Direct
Only
" Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius. "
Mel Brooks
Short
Say
Normal
" Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. "
Mel Brooks
Direct
Good
Only