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" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. "

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" A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote. "

" I only direct in self-defense. "

" Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love. "

" Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy. "

" There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere. "

" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "

" If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. "

" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "

" If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "

" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "

" We rest our case on the production numbers. "

" No, no, the songs write themselves, almost. "

" I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat. "

" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "

" A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. "

" I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up. "

" Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. "

" Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. "

" Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius. "

" Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them. "

" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "

" Humor is just another defense against the universe. "

" But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. "

" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "

" My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. "

" Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director. "

" All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security. "

" We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody. "

" He who hesitates is poor. "

" A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance. "