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" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "

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" It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't. "

" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "

" Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them. "

" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. "

" I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front. "

" I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel. "

" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "

" Humor is just another defense against the universe. "

" I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films. "

" As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me. "

" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "

" I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn. "

" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "

" I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous. "

" All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security. "

" Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy. "

" If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. "

" Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. "

" I wish I was better looking. "

" We rest our case on the production numbers. "

" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "

" No, no, the songs write themselves, almost. "

" I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage. "

" Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. "

" Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'. "

" I only direct in self-defense. "

" I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter. "

" But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. "

" When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin. "

" Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. "