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" A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. "
" I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage. "
" But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. "
" I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front. "
" I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter. "
" Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. "
" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. "
" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "
" If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none. "
" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "
" All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security. "
" I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat. "
" My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. "
" If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. "
" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "
" Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them. "
" I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films. "
" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "
" I only direct in self-defense. "
" Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. "
" If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "
" Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance. "
" Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'. "
" I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous. "
" We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody. "
" Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius. "
" I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel. "
" Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. "
" Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy. "
" We rest our case on the production numbers. "
" A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance. "