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" Our offense is like the pythagorean theorem: There is no answer! "
Shaquille O'Neal
Theorem
Answer
Our
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" Generals don't panic; then the troops never panic. "
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" I average 25 with three guys on me and they are just looking at stats I guess. "
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" When you flop, that's just another message that you don't know how to play me. Stand up and take your medicine like a man. "
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" I don't know anything about cars. I can promise you that. "
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" Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger). "
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" I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playing games. "
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" My job has always been to entertain people. I want people to laugh. "
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" I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. "
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" When I tweet, I try and accomplish three things. One, is to make you laugh. Two, is to inform you. Three, is to enlighten you. That's all I do. "
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" I'm like tax. You're going to pay one way or the other. "
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" I guess people think the taller you are the more dominant you have to be. "
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Dominant
" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "
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" If I were a painter, you'd be calling me Shaqcasso. "
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" I would like to be refered to as 'The Big Aristotle'. "
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" I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet. "
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Miami
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" I just want to keep people entertained. "
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Keep
" Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural. "
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Silly
" As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind of funny. I'd score 40 points. I'd come home and say, 'Look dad, I scored 40.' He'd never have a smile on his face. He'd be like, 'I saw that move you did. What if you'd hurt your knee?' "
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Fall
" Being here feels like I'm out of prison. This is the right place, the right time, the right team. "
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Place
Prison
Right Time
" I've been playing on Christmas for the last 10, 11, 12 years. So just got to get up early with the babies, and give them their toys and try to get a nap in and just come to play. "
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Try
Christmas
Early
" When you're in championships, it's never about what you do. It's always about what other people do. "
Shaquille O'Neal
People
Never
Other
" I love race car drivers, I love gymnastics, I love UFC, I love police officers, I love firefighters. I just try to give them the same enjoyment they give me. "
Shaquille O'Neal
Car
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Race
" I'm short and to the point. "
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Point
Short
" For all my friends in the media who like quotes, mark this quote down. From this day on I'd like to be known as 'The Big Aristotle' because Aristotle once said, 'Excellence is not a singular act; it's a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.' "
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" There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we're planning for the parade. "
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You
Got
Planning
" I have never been a shooter. "
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Been
Shooter
Never
" I'm very educated and can give you somewhat of a vocabulary, but I don't get to the philosophical side. "
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You
Vocabulary
Side
" The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don't know. I'll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don't know anything about him, and it's kinda sad. "
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Quality
Best
Know
" I am the number one Ninja and I have killed all the Shoguns in front of me. "
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I Am
Front
Am
" I'm done with the nicknames. Actually, when I obtain my doctorate, I will not allow people to call me Shaq anymore, either. "
Shaquille O'Neal
People
Me
Done