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" If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. "
Tracy McMillan
You
Chances
Lot
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" We have this false idea in our culture that if you haven't made it by 30, then you're never going to do anything interesting. My 40s have been the most incredible time of my life. "
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" Yes, I have 'failed' at marriage - a lot. "
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" Lots of people feel more alive when they're riding a roller-coaster relationship. But while this might be fun for a while, it can't possibly last. "
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" Putting my words piece online was an important part of my plan to help women learn how to love themselves and have a better life. "
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" If I had an office job, I'd probably be doing the exact same thing I'm doing on television: hanging out by the water cooler and talking to co-workers about their relationships. "
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" All of us, consciously or unconsciously, set out to have the best possible love life. Valentine's Day simply shines a light on the degree to which that didn't - or hasn't yet - materialized. "
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" I talk to women for a living. It's pretty much what I do with my day. "
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" When relationships don't work out, it doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you weren't meant to be together. "
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" Women with low self-esteem love bad boys. Women who have work to do love bad boys. Women who love themselves love good men. "
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" Being in a relationship is a hard, painful slog at least once a week, maybe more often - especially if you have a lot of defenses to let down, or if your parents didn't know how to love you very well. "
Tracy McMillan
Parents
Week
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" I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. "
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Born
Some
Reason
" Though it's safe to say there are a whole lotta American gals who agree with the core ideals of feminism, they are somehow nevertheless watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' by the millions. "
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Safe
Say
American
" Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of humor. "
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" Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships - someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours. "
Tracy McMillan
You
Help
I Can
" Work is a different type of pursuit than relationships. You can't take the skills that you know that have gotten you into that great school or into that great job and apply them to your relationships. "
Tracy McMillan
School
Know
Job
" Caring - about people, about things, about life - is an act of maturity. "
Tracy McMillan
People
Life
Caring
" Rather than diminishing the idea of 'truly needing' a relationship - and trying to deny it, shame it, or talk ourselves out of it - why not just celebrate it? It's exactly what the world needs. "
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World
" Here's the thing: you're not really ready for love until you have enough self-respect that if you met your exact self, but in a guy, you would totally, completely, absolutely want to be with him. "
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Self
Enough
" There is no such thing as 'getting' a guy, house and kids. There is only surrendering to them. "
Tracy McMillan
House
Getting
Only
" You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way. "
Tracy McMillan
Santa
You
Trick
" Sometime between when the Summer of Love ended and the Summer of Sam began, America became a nation of cynics about love. "
Tracy McMillan
Summer
America
Love
" I'm a blunt person, not mean-spirited. I come from a place of love, but I'm interested in being real. "
Tracy McMillan
Real
Come
Person
" I'm the straight-talking woman in your life who is going to be really honest with you, but come from a place of love. I'm not talking down to you; I do this from my heart. "
Tracy McMillan
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" For every year past the age of 27, you need to take another step toward commitment somewhere in your life. Instead of freelancing, you get a staff job. Instead of renting, you buy. Fine, instead of couch-surfing, you rent. "
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Job
Age
Commitment
" Women blame men for their own singlehood. "
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Blame
Men
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" Is our desire for partnership just an evolutionary remainder, a Togetherness Delusion, where millions of women only think they need a relationship to be truly happy? Maybe. But you know what? That's fine with me. "
Tracy McMillan
Women
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" I've been standing at water coolers for the past thirty years talking to women about their love lives, and here's what I've learned: Eventually, most women I know want to be partnered. "
Tracy McMillan
Know
Past
Talking
" I feel that as long as you're honest, you have the opportunity to grow. It's when you shut down, go into denial, and try to start hiding things from yourself and others, that's when you lock in certain behaviors and attitudes that keep you stuck. "
Tracy McMillan
Opportunity
Yourself
You
" The thing is, relationships never work out... until they do. You learn a lot from relationships that don't work out. "
Tracy McMillan
Never
Learn
You
" One of the beautiful things about men is that they're very in the moment. That's why they don't want to have an argument about what happened six months ago. "
Tracy McMillan
Beautiful
Moment
Argument