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" All of my friends are oddities. "

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" If I was a research scientist, I'd want people to say, 'You know what, he's a great research scientist, that Ricky Gervais. He's really good, really good.' You know, I'd go to award ceremonies for research scientists and go, 'Yeah, I really worked hard, yeah.' It's brilliant. "

" I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes. "

" Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away. "

" The grass isn't always greener on the other side! "

" A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. "

" I'm a fang-toothed, blob-nosed, slouchy slob. "

" I am myself sometimes, and I do state my opinions, but not in a comedy routine and not in my character. There always has to be some sort of layer to it. "

" Stupidity without malice isn't horrible; some people can't help it. "

" The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty. "

" People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same. "

" I haven't had my teeth fixed, I haven't had a hair transplant. I haven't had a skin peel, tummy tuck. I've done literally nothing. "

" My dad was a laborer. And he used to get up at 5:30 every morning. He worked for 50 years of his life, in all weathers for, by showbiz standards, petty cash. I remind myself of that when I feel a little bit spoiled or hard done by. "

" I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about. "

" The second series is always my favourite as a writer/director; you can hit the ground running... so that's fun. "

" I don't know what Trump has to do to lose his supporters. It's like a religion. He's a school bully. "

" I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing. "

" I don't know why other people are concerned about other people's lives that much. "

" I lift weights. Then I put them down again. "

" I think Spielberg is a master. I think 'Jaws' invented a genre. "

" There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They're forgotten, bewildered, and I don't think it's because people are cruel or don't care. It's because you don't want to think about your own mortality. I think people don't talk about it enough. "

" With Netflix, I browse; I watch documentaries about things I'd never dream of, but I think, 'I might as well.' "

" Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential. You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun. "

" I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like 'Tootsie,' 'Marathon Man.' Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, 'The Graduate' - incredible, barrier-breaking movie, 'The Graduate.' "

" I love 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' - great stories, acted well, made well. "

" I was never ambitious. I was never ambitious at school. "

" I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars. "

" I think you can make fun of anything except things people can't help. They can't help their race or their sex or their age, so you ridicule their pretension or their ego instead. You can ridicule ideas - ideas don't have feelings. You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them. "

" I love UFC, vigilante films, and any acts of merciless heroism. "

" Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it. "

" I see my real job now as - never mind 'The Office,' 'Extras,' film career, Emmys - I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is. "