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" Married at 23, a mother at 24, and blindsided by divorce at 28, I found myself struggling, like many young women I meet today, to strike a balance between my personal life and my career. "
Gail Sheehy
Meet
Myself
Today
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" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "
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" Spontaneity, the hallmark of childhood, is well worth cultivating to counteract the rigidity that may otherwise set in as we grow older. "
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" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "
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" In the case of my husband, we found that facing a life-threatening illness prodded us to make a dramatic change in our lives. "
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" It was my very good fortune to find a mentor, Clay Felker, who started my career at the 'New York Magazine' as a freelance writer when I had to quit my job at the 'Herald Tribune' to stay home with my young daughter. "
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" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "
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" The dream for many millennial women is to make a difference as social or political entrepreneurs. They are using the social media and marketing tools they have mastered to empower less fortunate women and direct them onto career tracks that women have traditionally avoided, like science and technology. "
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" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "
Gail Sheehy
Admit
Life
Mask
" The feminist spirit still lives! It shows most boldly among younger women from the millennial generation. "
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" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "
Gail Sheehy
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" Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath. "
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" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "
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People
" I actually interviewed other people about myself, and that alerted me to the fact that I had to really investigate my memories. "
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People
Fact
" Being a pathfinder is to be willing to risk failure and still go on. "
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Being
Risk
Still
" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "
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" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "
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" No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness. "
Gail Sheehy
Control
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Illness
" In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network. "
Gail Sheehy
Friends
Humor
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" It is a paradox that as we reach out prime, we also see there is a place where it finishes. "
Gail Sheehy
Paradox
Where
Place
" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "
Gail Sheehy
Soup
Stress
Stupid
" If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing. "
Gail Sheehy
You
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" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "
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Having
Then
Book
" When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. "
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" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "
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Through
" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "
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" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! "
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Changes
Behind
Most
" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "
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" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
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Wait
You
Women
" We really only have two choices. Play it safe, or take a chance. For me, pulling back because of fear has always made me feel worse. "
Gail Sheehy
Play
Me
Chance