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" When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. "

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" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "

" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "

" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "

" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "

" I was devastated when I got the review for my first book. The book came out a couple years before the women's movement broke through, and people were putting it down, asking, 'Why does the woman in this book need to get a divorce? Why can't she just shut up and be happy?' "

" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "

" Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath. "

" I dare to do things - that's how I survive. "

" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "

" I keep returning to the central question facing over-50 women as we move into our Second Adulthood. What are our goals for this stage in our lives? "

" Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. "

" I know I'm never going to probably see the Taj Mahal or, you know, climb Mt. Everest, but I can still maybe influence peoples' way of thinking by a story that I do, by something I learn about the world. "

" When I was immobilized by fear, I might have a panic attack. I've had a couple of panic attacks in my life. "

" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "

" It was my very good fortune to find a mentor, Clay Felker, who started my career at the 'New York Magazine' as a freelance writer when I had to quit my job at the 'Herald Tribune' to stay home with my young daughter. "

" To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. "

" I'm a liberal, but I think there's so much that the private sector can do and does do. "

" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "

" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "

" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "

" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "

" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "

" No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness. "

" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "

" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "

" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "

" If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing. "

" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "

" The feminist spirit still lives! It shows most boldly among younger women from the millennial generation. "

" Ah, mastery... what a profoundly satisfying feeling when one finally gets on top of a new set of skills... and then sees the light under the new door those skills can open, even as another door is closing. "