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" No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness. "
Gail Sheehy
Control
Aging
Illness
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" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "
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" Spontaneity, the hallmark of childhood, is well worth cultivating to counteract the rigidity that may otherwise set in as we grow older. "
Gail Sheehy
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" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "
Gail Sheehy
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" The first thing one notices about Jill Abramson is her short stature. The second is her intensity. "
Gail Sheehy
Her
Second
Short
" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "
Gail Sheehy
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" The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests. "
Gail Sheehy
Meeting
Action
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" The delights of self-discovery are always available. "
Gail Sheehy
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Always
Self-Discovery
" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "
Gail Sheehy
Money
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Coffee
" Career-driven millennials are strategic about working obsessively while they are single and earning enough money to afford advanced education. Most are patient enough to wait until 30 or later to develop their dream. "
Gail Sheehy
Wait
Education
Dream
" Character is what was yesterday and will be tomorrow. "
Gail Sheehy
Yesterday
Character
Tomorrow
" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "
Gail Sheehy
Time
Think
Relationship
" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "
Gail Sheehy
Up
Comfort
Comfort Zone
" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "
Gail Sheehy
Family
You
Role
" In my memoir, I admit that I've been as fearful of success as of failure. In fact, when 'Passages' was published, I so dreaded bad reviews that I ran away to Italy with a girlfriend and our children to hide out. "
Gail Sheehy
Bad
Failure
Hide
" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "
Gail Sheehy
Living
Crisis
Dying
" In the case of my husband, we found that facing a life-threatening illness prodded us to make a dramatic change in our lives. "
Gail Sheehy
Illness
Dramatic
Husband
" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "
Gail Sheehy
Soup
Stress
Stupid
" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "
Gail Sheehy
Decision
Women
Change
" Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough. "
Gail Sheehy
Award
Good
People
" Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation. "
Gail Sheehy
Changes
Own
Only
" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "
Gail Sheehy
Comfort
Spirit
Rest
" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "
Gail Sheehy
Say
Fear
Feelings
" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "
Gail Sheehy
Hot
Over
Years
" Married at 23, a mother at 24, and blindsided by divorce at 28, I found myself struggling, like many young women I meet today, to strike a balance between my personal life and my career. "
Gail Sheehy
Meet
Myself
Today
" No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. "
Gail Sheehy
Comfortable
Life
Find
" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "
Gail Sheehy
Having
Then
Book
" This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life. "
Gail Sheehy
Own
Need
Life
" The dream for many millennial women is to make a difference as social or political entrepreneurs. They are using the social media and marketing tools they have mastered to empower less fortunate women and direct them onto career tracks that women have traditionally avoided, like science and technology. "
Gail Sheehy
Science
Social Media
Technology
" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "
Gail Sheehy
Women
Life
Goals
" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "
Gail Sheehy
Mother
Children
Daughter