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" It is a paradox that as we reach out prime, we also see there is a place where it finishes. "
Gail Sheehy
Paradox
Where
Place
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" There is no more defiant denial of one man's ability to possess one woman exclusively than the prostitute who refuses to redeemed. "
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Man
Denial
" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "
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Having
Then
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" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "
Gail Sheehy
Years
Cancer
Clay
" The delights of self-discovery are always available. "
Gail Sheehy
Learning
Always
Self-Discovery
" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "
Gail Sheehy
Mother
Children
Daughter
" I found that female pathfinders generally integrate characteristics commonly associated with being women - like the capacity to be intimate - with 'male' ones like ambition and courage. "
Gail Sheehy
Courage
Capacity
Ambition
" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "
Gail Sheehy
Up
Comfort
Comfort Zone
" No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness. "
Gail Sheehy
Control
Aging
Illness
" In my memoir, I admit that I've been as fearful of success as of failure. In fact, when 'Passages' was published, I so dreaded bad reviews that I ran away to Italy with a girlfriend and our children to hide out. "
Gail Sheehy
Bad
Failure
Hide
" Back in 1968, when I was 30, my entire life blew up. I had a life plan, and it collapsed for no rational reason. "
Gail Sheehy
Up
Back
Life
" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "
Gail Sheehy
Decision
Women
Change
" We really only have two choices. Play it safe, or take a chance. For me, pulling back because of fear has always made me feel worse. "
Gail Sheehy
Play
Me
Chance
" I'd visually have that idea. I'm diving off the end of the diving board. I'm not going to be worried about if I'm going to dive into a jellyfish or the water's going to be too cold or the boys are going to beat me. I'm just doing it. And if I do it, it's a good chance I'll make it. "
Gail Sheehy
Me
Water
Chance
" It was so naive to think that there was nothing interesting that happened after 55. Come on, there's a whole second adulthood! "
Gail Sheehy
Think
Adulthood
Interesting
" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "
Gail Sheehy
Hang
Mentor
Relationships
" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "
Gail Sheehy
Family
You
Role
" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
Gail Sheehy
Wait
You
Women
" This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life. "
Gail Sheehy
Own
Need
Life
" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "
Gail Sheehy
Soup
Stress
Stupid
" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! "
Gail Sheehy
Changes
Behind
Most
" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "
Gail Sheehy
Lived
Feel
Through
" I was devastated when I got the review for my first book. The book came out a couple years before the women's movement broke through, and people were putting it down, asking, 'Why does the woman in this book need to get a divorce? Why can't she just shut up and be happy?' "
Gail Sheehy
Women
She
Woman
" No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. "
Gail Sheehy
Comfortable
Life
Find
" If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing. "
Gail Sheehy
You
Will
Day
" Ah, mastery... what a profoundly satisfying feeling when one finally gets on top of a new set of skills... and then sees the light under the new door those skills can open, even as another door is closing. "
Gail Sheehy
Closing
Door
Feeling
" In 2009, I served as AARP's Ambassador of Caregiving. With a producer and cameraman, I traveled the country for months, interviewing hundreds of caregivers. "
Gail Sheehy
Ambassador
Country
Producer
" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "
Gail Sheehy
Once
Very
Women
" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "
Gail Sheehy
Comfort
Spirit
Rest
" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "
Gail Sheehy
Women
Life
Goals
" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "
Gail Sheehy
Admit
Life
Mask