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All Quotes by author - Gail Sheehy

" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "

" Ah, mastery... what a profoundly satisfying feeling when one finally gets on top of a new set of skills... and then sees the light under the new door those skills can open, even as another door is closing. "

" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! "

" Back in 1968, when I was 30, my entire life blew up. I had a life plan, and it collapsed for no rational reason. "

" Being a pathfinder is to be willing to risk failure and still go on. "

" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "

" Career-driven millennials are strategic about working obsessively while they are single and earning enough money to afford advanced education. Most are patient enough to wait until 30 or later to develop their dream. "

" Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation. "

" Character is what was yesterday and will be tomorrow. "

" Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. "

" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "

" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "

" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "

" I actually interviewed other people about myself, and that alerted me to the fact that I had to really investigate my memories. "

" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "

" I dare to do things - that's how I survive. "

" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "

" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "

" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "

" I'd visually have that idea. I'm diving off the end of the diving board. I'm not going to be worried about if I'm going to dive into a jellyfish or the water's going to be too cold or the boys are going to beat me. I'm just doing it. And if I do it, it's a good chance I'll make it. "

" If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing. "

" I found that female pathfinders generally integrate characteristics commonly associated with being women - like the capacity to be intimate - with 'male' ones like ambition and courage. "

" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "

" If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. "

" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "

" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "

" I keep returning to the central question facing over-50 women as we move into our Second Adulthood. What are our goals for this stage in our lives? "

" I know I'm never going to probably see the Taj Mahal or, you know, climb Mt. Everest, but I can still maybe influence peoples' way of thinking by a story that I do, by something I learn about the world. "

" I'm a liberal, but I think there's so much that the private sector can do and does do. "

" In 2009, I served as AARP's Ambassador of Caregiving. With a producer and cameraman, I traveled the country for months, interviewing hundreds of caregivers. "

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