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" My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop. "

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" I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV. "

Paul O'Grady

Mother

School

Day

" I dress up as a middle-aged prostitute and do a game show. "

" It's become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken. "

" The person I always enjoy having a meal with is Cilla Black. I might not see her for months, but then I'll pick her up at her flat, and we'll go to a restaurant, and it's like I've seen her that morning. "

" Times are hard and friends are few. "

" I know it's a cliche, but I didn't want to work in an office. "

" I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you'. "

" When my dog Buster died, I couldn't get over it. I was in bits. "

" I don't like awards ceremonies. I'd sooner go to the pub with mates I've known for years. "

" I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it. "

" I don't want to sit until I'm 90 with people running around after me. I'm not one for sitting on the couch. "

Paul O'Grady

Want

Running

" I only like doing live telly. It's great because you go in and do it and then go home. No edit, no retakes. "

" I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable. "

" You can draw the character out of pets, and you can make them your friends, but they are animals, and they have to be allowed to live the lives of animals. "

" I like working with kids; they keep you going. "

Paul O'Grady

Going

Keep

" I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. Taking a pay cut won't demotivate me, not at all. It's not about money in the first place. It's about the job. "

" Channel 4 are a great bunch of people to work with and the crew are lovely. Working at ITV was like being in the court of Caligula. "

" I've got four dogs, eight chickens, 10 sheep and six pigs. "

" I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had were completely dug up. "

" Mum and Dad died of heart problems, my grandparents died of it, my sister has had mini strokes, my brother has had a heart attack - it's genetic; there's nothing I can do. "

" I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home. "

" Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood. "

" I'm not a businessman. I could pack it in, but I like work. I don't want to sound like Catherine Cookson, but I've worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. "

Paul O'Grady

Sound

Work

" Writing is such a solitary existence, and I can only do it late at night. "

" I still consider myself working class. I know my circumstances have changed dramatically since I was growing up back in Birkenhead. "

" Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn't stop me being adventurous. "

Paul O'Grady

Week

Stop

" If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya. "

" I can eat beef, provided it's minced in disguise. I couldn't eat a gammon steak. Forget it. "

" The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone. "

" I don't go for glamour roles. "

Paul O'Grady

Glamour

Roles