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" My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. "

Rodney Dangerfield

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" The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbours, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all. "

" There is only one home to the life of a river-mussel; there is only one home to the life of a tortoise; there is only one shell to the soul of man: there is only one world to the spirit of our race. If that world leaves its course and smashes on boulders of the great void, whose world will give us shelter? "

" My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" My cousin's gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Seek home for rest, for home is best. "

" Where thou art, that is home. "

Emily Dickinson

" I also believed that our public at home would be strong enough to survive even the present crisis. "

Paul von Hindenburg

" It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss; volatile spirits prefer unhappiness. "

George Santayana

" I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" America owed its military renaissance in the 1980s and 1990s to Vietnam. Veterans like Norman Schwartzkopf, Colin Powell, Alfred Grey, Charles Krulak, and Wesley Clark returned home angry and ashamed at their defeat and rebuilt all-volunteer, professional armed forces from the ground up. "

Michael Ignatieff

" In some of the great cities of Europe - Paris, Vienna, Prague, and Brussels - tourists bored with life above ground can descend below. All these cities have sewer museums and tours, and all expose their underbelly willingly to the curious. But not London, arguably the home of the most splendid sewer network in Europe. "

" I'm a firm believer that lighting affects mood, and twinkly lights on strings bring something magical to occasions ranging from concerts to weddings, though I'm fond of using them as year-round home decor. There's a reason why they're sometimes called fairy lights. When the night is right, there aren't any strings at all. "

Erin Morgenstern

" Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. "

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

" Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home. "

" If I could go anywhere in the world, that place would be home. "

" Once I am in the square circle, I am in my home. "

Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

" Moonlight is my theater group. They are my home. I feel greatly appreciated there. That type of satisfaction, money can't buy. "

" Being an old farm boy myself, chickens coming home to roost never did make me sad; they've always made me glad. "

" More than one-third of Mexicans in the United States own property in Mexico, nearly 80 percent send money home and 25 percent have a spouse in Mexico. Assimilation and becoming an American citizen are not the objective for many of them. "

" 'Get along, go along' is not an inspirational philosophy, and only God knows how much moral cowardice it has covered up over the years. Serve your time, collect your chits, and cash 'em in for your home state? No, I'd say we could ask for more than that from our senators. "

" All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party. "

" I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I love modeling because I get to see everything that inspires me. Then I go home and sketch. "

" Home is, I suppose just a child's idea. A house at night, and a lamp in the house. A place to feel safe. "

" I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" When you have the paparazzi hiding in the bushes outside your home, the only thing you can control is how you respond publicly. "

Portia de Rossi

" There are things they tell us that sound good to hear, but when they have accomplished their purpose they will go home and will not try to fulfill our agreements with them. "

" Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, it should end there. "

Clare Boothe Luce

" I came home every Friday afternoon, riding the six miles on the back of a big mule. I spent Saturday and Sunday washing and ironing and cooking for the children and went back to my country school on Sunday afternoon. "

" Whether rich or poor, a home is not a home unless the roots of love are ever striking deeper through the crust of the earthly and the conventional, into the very realities of being, not consciously always; seldom, perhaps; the simplicity of loving grows by living simply near nature and God. "