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" People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. "

Demetri Martin

Car

Driving

I Am

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" When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. "

" Understanding capitalism is in some ways simple. At its best, capitalism rewards creators, makers and providers: the people and firms that create valuable things for others, like imaginative technologies and good food, cars and drugs. "

" Television, radio, social media. The 24/7 news cycle plows forward mercilessly on our desks, in our cars and in our pockets. Thousands and thousands of messages and voices bombard us from the moment we wake, fighting for our attention. All we see and hear, all day long, is news. And most of it is bad. "

" During the season, most of my time to unwind is in my car ride home. When I get home, it's being with my kids. "

" I love the dog. She comes for drives with me in the back of my car. Darby is not aggressive or judgmental. She just is. That's what I love about her. She sits there and watches 'The Fugitive' with me. "

" My first car, I got it in an auction at my temple. It was an '86 Volvo that I got for 500 bucks, and then wound up throwing $10,000 into the stereo system and put TVs in the foot rests. It was the most ridiculous Volvo you'd ever seen, but I had never had money before and I was out of my mind. "

" I'm probably more dangerous in a car than I am on a motorbike; on a bike I'm very mindful of the fact that if you make a mistake, you're dead. "

" I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps. "

" I've always listened to a lot of rap. It's all, 'Look at this car that cost me so much money, look at this Champagne.' It's super fun. "

" When I was four, I just wanted to drive, I collected toy cars. Where does that sort of thing come from? In hindsight you go, 'Oh, liked it because of this.' Maybe it's just the wheel. "

" A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy. "

Demetri Martin

People

Need

" Electric cars aren't pollution-free; they have to get their energy from somewhere. "

" Cars, furs, and gems were not my weaknesses. "

" Never have more children than you have car windows. "

" The adage is true: Walk a mile in my shoes - or drive a mile in my car. There is nothing quite like sitting in the seat yourself. "

" The easiest and simplest thing that any one can do to make their car safer, more gas efficient, whatever - check the tire pressure. "

Richard Hammond

Pressure

Whatever

" I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!' "

" When I was 16, everyone else got a car; I got a motorcycle. "

" I remember one day, when things were going frightfully well, I went to buy myself a really smashing car. I asked them to show me a Porsche with an automatic gearbox, and the salesman called over all the other salesmen, and they stood around absolutely roaring with laughter. "

" There is a limit to the application of democratic methods. You can inquire of all the passengers as to what type of car they like to ride in, but it is impossible to question them as to whether to apply the brakes when the train is at full speed and accident threatens. "

" A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. "

Demetri Martin

Drunk

Persuasive

" Singapore is likely to be the world's first market for self-driving cars. Commercial services around self-driving vehicles will likely be in Singapore before they are anywhere else in the world. "

" My greatest pleasure is going out on a horrible, cold, wet January morning to pick the vegetables for our Sunday lunch, putting them in a muddy pile on the table, and then spending 45 minutes washing and preparing them. I like doing it because it's so different to what I do in the week. The same holds for cleaning the car or shining my shoes. "

" I went through a phase where I thought it was really funny to make pratfalls in very crowded places. I jumped out of a moving car once, for a laugh. That was a mistake. "

" My mother and father, with my newborn brother and me in the backseat of the 1938 Ford sedan that would be our family car for the next decade, moved to that hastily constructed Army ammunition depot called Igloo, on the alkaline and sagebrush landscape of far southwestern South Dakota. I was three years old. "

Tom Brokaw

Father

Mother

" I drive an American car. It's a Chrysler. That's not an endorsement. It's more like a cry for pity. "

Michael Moore

Car

" To realize the incredible potential of connected cars and autonomous driving, we must continue to forge innovative global partnerships that engage everyone from automakers and Internet of Things players to government and educational institutions. "

" I'm looking into making toilet paper. It's not an option unless you a bum and gotta use newspaper. It's not an option. Like, it's an option if you wanna drive a car. It's an option if you wanna use a straw. It's an option if you wanna wear a pair of Nikes or Reeboks. "

" I'd kind of like to have a classic old muscle car. I think that would be fun. "

" 'Mosaic' is about what we see and what we don't see. I learned how people can develop other senses to compensate for a missing one when I was a child. My best friend, Carol, who is profoundly deaf, saved me from an approaching car that she 'heard' when I didn't. "