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" People come to my shows on purpose as opposed to coming to a 'comedy show.' Which was always my goal. "

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" Nobody knows the life of the working comic. "

" It's a difficult line to tread, where sometimes you go to the movies or you watch someone do publicity for movies or TV shows, and they do all the jokes that are good in the promotion of it, and you see the movie, and you're like, 'I kind of get it already. I'm not that psyched about it.' "

" I'm a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in 'Once' there are the musicians that hang out together. "

" I'm generally so disoriented during the week about what I'm doing and where I am - I travel a lot - that when I'm home on a Sunday, I typically try to sleep in as much as I can. "

" Random people, celebrities of note come to your shows over the years, and I've had some really strange ones. Like the guy from Kiss. Gene Simmons has literally been in the audience at my shows, like, four times. I don't know if he knows me; he's just a big fan of comedy. "

" I think your tendency when you play yourself is to accentuate something about you that you think is the funny thing about you. "

" There's something about small venues that's amazing for developing material. It's almost like you can not only hear people's response, but you can understand it. In bigger venues you lose that, but you gain this sense of camaraderie in the audience. "

" One of my favourite movies is 'Annie Hall' because it's about the silver lining of the break-up. "

" My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station wagon that had 80,000 miles on it, and I had put 40,000 miles on it, so by the time it retired it had 120,000, and I basically killed it. It served me well, and my mechanic was always very angry with me because I just didn't properly care for it. "

" I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness. "

" I was very much a late bloomer. That's not to say that girls didn't express interest in me from time to time, but I just, I did not know how to respond to that. "

" Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience. "

" One of my favorite comedies of all time is 'Terms of Endearment;' that's my pace. "

" Sometimes my fans are too nice. "

" Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance. "

" Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea. "

" When I started out, I really struggled as a comic because no one knew who I was, and sometimes I was telling stories, so it would take a while for people to get on board for things. "

" My last name has the word 'big' in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir and the lia, I'll just be Big. "

" After I perform 'My Girlfriend's Boyfriend,' it takes a lot out of me emotionally; and, at the end of it, I feel like I know the audience and the audience knows me. It's this weird unspoken bond that we'll kind of always have with each other. "

" When I go to bed at night, I wear a sleeping bag. And for a long time, I wore mittens so that I couldn't open the sleeping bag. "

" You can't go to medical school and come out and be like, 'I'm going to be a dog catcher.' That would be so pointless. "

" I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. "

" Once you've made your first feature, you know what you can do wrong and how hard it is to shoot a feature. Before you do it, you just don't know how hard it is. Once you've done it, when you're writing a second one, it's almost like you're preparing, and it's almost holding you back. "

" You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24. "

" Someone gave me a piece of advice once, my first manager Lucien Hold. He said, 'If you do stand-up about your own life, no one can steal it.' I always thought that was the best piece of advice. "

" When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate. "

" I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. "

" I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad, and just say, 'This is the part I agree with that you're saying, and these are the parts I don't agree with.' "

" I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. "

" As a comedian, you want people to like you. That's part of why you're there in the first place: You have this unquenchable need to be liked, and then when you divert from that and take a chance at doing something that has moments of fierce unlikeability, you can hit some real low points. "