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" I was very much a late bloomer. That's not to say that girls didn't express interest in me from time to time, but I just, I did not know how to respond to that. "
Mike Birbiglia
Know
Me
Late
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" I'm unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I'm a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I'm looking for ways to try something else. "
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" I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show. "
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" I've always been a late bloomer, so I never feel like, 'Oh, I'm gettin' older; I guess everything is gonna stop.' I'm the opposite: 'Oh, I'm just getting started.' "
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" I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.' "
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" I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. "
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" Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. "
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" If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it. "
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Concept
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" I was definitely a late bloomer. "
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Late
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Definitely
" People come to my shows on purpose as opposed to coming to a 'comedy show.' Which was always my goal. "
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Goal
People
Purpose
" I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school - and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college - which was called 'Extras' - I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film. "
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Lost
College
Career
" I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. "
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Everyone
Passionate
Feel
" I am diagnosed with what's called 'REM behavior disorder.' As far as the disorder goes, there's no cure, but it's going pretty well as far as these things go. I see a sleep doctor, take medication, etc. "
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See
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" I was a late bloomer. I tried out for the football team, and I got locked off the field. That's how I wound up in drama. "
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Drama
Team
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" I feel like I always describe myself as a late bloomer. My first album, in my mind, was that I had a few songs I needed to take from incomplete demos to working with someone else and finishing them. "
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Like
Late
Feel
" Film is so immersive. "
Mike Birbiglia
Film
" I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep. "
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Cool
Dreams
Take
" One of my favourite movies is 'Annie Hall' because it's about the silver lining of the break-up. "
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Movies
Hall
Silver
" My wife and I always comment that our lives are relatively mundane. She's a writer as well, I'm a writer, we spend most of our time writing, and kind of going to yoga in Brooklyn. "
Mike Birbiglia
Kind
Writing
Wife
" Shooting a movie isn't good for a sleep disorder. "
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Movie
Good
Disorder
" You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that. "
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" Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea. "
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Want
Things
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" The thing with film is that it's so wide-reaching compared to comedy. When I release my comedy special, half a million people will see it. If I release a movie, five to ten million people will see it. "
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People
See
Film
" I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, 'This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else.' I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them. "
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Kind
End
Death
" In real life, I first started sleep walking in high school because that was when this concept of getting into college first appeared. I had this moment of, 'Oh! This is going to affect the rest of my life.' "
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Life
College
Moment
" I have a following, but it's small. I have this level of fame where people spot me in the airport, consistently, but they always think they're the only one who ever has. People will think they win a prize when they recognize me. "
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Small
People
Airport
" Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.' "
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Conversation
You
Me
" I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me. "
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Twenty
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People
" Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you. "
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Place
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You