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" Someone needs to remind American CEOs that if you can't run a company that is innovative, financially sound and doesn't poison the rest of us, You can't run a company. "
Hal Sparks
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" Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine. "
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" Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer. "
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" Political and social change is always a stagger-step process. "
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" I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that. "
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" People only have guilty pleasures when they crowbar pleasure down their throat all the time and then they reach for the brownies. Then you should feel guilty because you're killing your body and that's something to be guilty about. "
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" If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer. "
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" There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing. "
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" If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life. "
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" All musicians need a day job in the beginning. Unless they still live with their parents, I guess. I'm just lucky that my day job is simply another form of art. "
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" It's better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money. "
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" Other kids would sneak out of the house to go to parties and do untoward things. I was sneaking out to do standup downtown. It paid off. "
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" I'm named after a computer and grew up really interested in them. "
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" I've been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old. "
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" Mainly, when I go see a show, unfortunately it's more industrial espionage than it is going to actually enjoy a show. "
Hal Sparks
" The important thing is having genuine regard for your audience. "
Hal Sparks
" I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things. "
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" I'm as heterosexual as any person need be. I'm open about my relationships - or lack thereof - in my own life, because I want to make the case that gay isn't contagious. It's not something that you can catch or learn or choose. "
Hal Sparks
" Growing up in Kentucky, I used to hang out with four running buddies as a kid - 6, 10, and 11 years old. Two of them would later come out, and so 50 percent of my friends as a kid were gay. "
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" It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money. "
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" You'd think after 8 years of things called 'The Patriot Act' and 'No Child Left Behind' they would know that we have figured out the 'Call it what it ain't' PR ploy by now, but... um... no. "
Hal Sparks
" Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids. "
Hal Sparks
" Vegas has the Whitman's Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You have to find the heartbeat of the room. It doesn't shift my jokes, but it shifts my timing and my attention. "
Hal Sparks
" I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community. "
Hal Sparks
" I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security. "
Hal Sparks
" The pop musicians often leave meaning in the dust and substitute it for cartoons. The deeper artists - the grunge artists in the world and the emoticon people - tend to leave all of the happiness out of life like it just doesn't exist. "
Hal Sparks
" Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams. "
Hal Sparks
" 'Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker. "
Hal Sparks
" If I have anything, it's tenacity. "
Hal Sparks
" I like struggle. "
Hal Sparks
" People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction. "
Hal Sparks