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" Talking to my wife, we stare at each other, saying, 'How is this happening? Why is this happening? Why now?' It's nothing I ever aspired to. "

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" There's such a freewheeling nature to 'Second City,' and the greatest thing about 'Second City' was having a sophisticated audience night after night who appreciated what it was. They knew it wasn't all going to be great when you improvised, so they were very forgiving that way. "

" Maybe the coolest people are the ones who don't care about being cool. "

" People say, 'What's the secret to a marriage?' There's no secret - I think you get lucky. "

" People generally have sex fairly young, and probably younger than they should be having it. "

" My father is Italian, and I never met my paternal grandparents. The family name was 'Caroselli' and it was changed in the mid '50s. I think they wanted to assimilate, which was pretty common, although I love the name 'Caroselli.' "

" If somebody takes the parking place you were waiting for, I tend to kind of let it roll off my back. Maybe I'm harboring a lot of something and it will all explode somewhere down the road, but I tend to just let it slide off my back. "

" I always feel so pretentious talking about comedy and deconstructing it. It always feels somehow self-centred to talk about any sort of process. "

" Nothing to me feels as good as laughing incredibly hard. "

" I'm not good with pickup lines or flirting. I don't have that kind of self-confidence or natural charisma. "

Self-Confidence

" I'd love to do Broadway some day. Before I started doing television I was just a primarily a stage actor, but I haven't done it in a while. "

" I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it's a different world. "

" There's very little you could do to prepare to be a correspondent on 'The Daily Show,' because it's not being a journalist, it's not being an actor. It involves elements of both of those things, but they're not required necessarily as job experience. It's helpful if you know how to improvise, but again, not a requirement. "

" Sending a handwritten letter is becoming such an anomaly. It's disappearing. My mom is the only one who still writes me letters. And there's something visceral about opening a letter - I see her on the page. I see her in her handwriting. "

" Oh, I so don't care about the podium at the Oscars. I've stood at the podium at the Oscars and that's close enough. To be a presenter is as close as I need to be. "

" In my wildest dreams I never thought - well, I never thought I'd work. "

" If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk. "

" What kind of person would have a real craving for gummy worms? "

" Steve Buscemi is hilarious. He's really, really good with improv. "

" Even the most self-confident people, at one point of their lives, felt like outsiders or felt like they weren't being heard or seen or witnessed in some way. "

" I had, like, two goals in my career: One was to try to get into 'Second City.' When I moved to Chicago, my goal was to try to work at 'Second City.' And beyond that, my goal was to make enough money as an actor to not do anything else but act, not have to go and wait tables again. "

" I don't feel that I have to control every aspect of things that I appear in. You learn a lot performing someone else's writing. "

" When you do an animated movie - at least the ones that I've been a part of - you never see any of the other actors. It's all done separately with headphones in a voice booth. "

" Anything nice that's said about me is diametrically opposed to who I am. "

" From cheesecake on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a stick - there are no plates anymore. In Los Angeles, everything has become a corn dog. Actually, corn dogs still work. But most other food should be stickless. "

" Don't underestimate your kids. Don't be condescending, because they're children but they're not stupid. "

" Whenever you see people talking about how real they are or how normal they are, it seems odd to have that self awareness that you could potentially not be normal. "

" I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a good teller of jokes. "

" It's not a master plan to do every remake and every recreation of icons. It's just what I've been hired to do. "

" Everybody should be normal. Everybody should be nice. I think they go hand in hand, and that to me is the default setting. "

" Reading a book, watching a movie, going to a play, it's transporting, and very, very exciting. And to be a part of that, creating things with your imagination, whoa. "