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" Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. "
Laurence J. Peter
Child
Television
Technology
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" Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. "
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" In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. "
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" America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. "
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" A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. "
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" Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. "
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" Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect? "
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" The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure. "
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" Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert. "
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" Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. "
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" Lead, follow, or get out of the way. "
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" America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. "
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" Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence. "
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" Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work. "
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" An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. "
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" An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. "
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" There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. "
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" Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. "
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" If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else. "
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" If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? "
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" Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. "
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" The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. "
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" Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise. "
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" As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't. "
Laurence J. Peter
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" You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. "
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Fool
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" Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. "
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Process
Blame
Democracy
" Don't believe in miracles - depend on them. "
Laurence J. Peter
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Believe
Miracles
" The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep. "
Laurence J. Peter
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Sheep
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" Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. "
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Chance
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Fair
" Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. "
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Forgetting
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" Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. "
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Misfortune
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