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" The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past. "

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" I first thought maybe I'd do a banjo presentation record, where I'd play a couple of songs and get a bunch of other players to do the rest. Then I realized I had enough of my own songs to do an album of them. "

" I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act on stage, which is what I really enjoyed and saw myself doing. And I bought books on it. "

" I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book. "

" Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. "

" I cringe at backstory. Because it never quite explains or gets into some psychological thing that is never quite right and never quite the truth and who knows why someone is some way. "

" Theories, for me, are just about freeing your mind. It doesn't mean the theory is going to work like a scientific theory works. It's about freeing your mind and making you think a different way. "

" Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows are that the Grammys are much wilder. The Oscars is much more people in the industry. And people dress wilder, I think, at the Grammys. "

" I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words. "

" Love is a promise delivered already broken. "

" I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. "

" L.A. is only where you live, because otherwise it's just a sprawling mass of everything, and I think if you live in L.A., you get a little network of places you go, and people you see, and when you leave town, you do miss those places and your friends. "

" I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. "

" When I was in college, I really liked poetry. I don't read much anymore. "

" You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do. You want to be focused on it. "

" When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me. "

" With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook. "

" I think when I was young, let's call it high school, and even before that, I just loved comedy, and I loved comedians. I grew up watching Laurel and Hardy. That's really a long time ago. I loved Jerry Lewis. I just loved comedians. "

" I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness. "

" I was raised with 'Laurel and Hardy' and 'I Love Lucy' and Jerry Lewis, and I just loved it. And I had a friend in high school and we would just laugh all day and put on skits. You know, it's the Andy Kaufman thing or the Marty Short thing where you're performing in your bedroom for yourself. "

" Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. "

" I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business, is really more accurate. "

" There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. "

" I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point. "

" I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic. "

" I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it. "

" I'm enamored with the art world. "

" What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny. "

" When I first started doing my comedy act, I just desperately needed material. So I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines. I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy. "

" The thing about the banjo is, when you first hear it, it strikes many people as 'What's that?' There's something very compelling about it to certain people; that's the way I was; that's the way a lot of banjo players and people who love the banjo are. "

" I've run into people in my life who were so dramatic; people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over. I've had that happen to me, and I've seen it happen to other people. I find it fascinating. "