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" The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. "
Laurence J. Peter
You
Judge
Man
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" Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. "
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" An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. "
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" Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. "
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" Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. "
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" Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. "
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" An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. "
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" Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. "
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" Lead, follow, or get out of the way. "
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" Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. "
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Car
Church
Christian
" The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep. "
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Details
Sheep
Shepherd
" Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. "
Laurence J. Peter
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" There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. "
Laurence J. Peter
Kinds
Admit
Rest
" A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. "
Laurence J. Peter
Looks
He
Street
" Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence. "
Laurence J. Peter
Men
Now
Opportunities
" Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. "
Laurence J. Peter
Mother
Nature
Girl
" The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure. "
Laurence J. Peter
Great
You
Question
" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "
Laurence J. Peter
Try
Two
Three
" Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect? "
Laurence J. Peter
How
Perfect
He
" If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? "
Laurence J. Peter
Desk
Funny
Mind
" When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout. "
Laurence J. Peter
Doubt
Run
Danger
" In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. "
Laurence J. Peter
Employee
Rise
Incompetence
" Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. "
Laurence J. Peter
Child
Television
Technology
" America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. "
Laurence J. Peter
Avoid
Land
America
" Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. "
Laurence J. Peter
Angry
Best
You
" The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. "
Laurence J. Peter
Leisure
Test
Intelligence
" Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. "
Laurence J. Peter
Chance
Everyone
Fair
" Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. "
Laurence J. Peter
Correct
Three
Man
" Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. "
Laurence J. Peter
Like
Against
Armor
" Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. "
Laurence J. Peter
Method
Higher
Grade
" As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't. "
Laurence J. Peter
Fact
Precedes
Matter