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" The only thing I shy away from is non-consensual violence. I can't write a story where someone is a simple victim because it's boring. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" There's a television show, 'Hoarders,' where people have those homes filled with stuff. Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Why do the lives of writers seem so... train-wrecky? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The most boring scenes are the scenes where a character is alone. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My stories always have these twisted happy endings, and the boy always gets the girl. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think America is just so in love with conflict. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Some of the best ideas I get seem to happen when I'm doing mindless manual labor or exercise. I'm not sure how that happens, but it leaves me free for remarkable ideas to occur. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think it's more important to write something that brings men back to reading than it is to write for people who already read. There's a reason men don't read, and it's because books don't serve men. It's time we produce books that serve men. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" That saying, about how you always kill the thing you love, well, it works both ways. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Few things in life seem more sexy than a banned book. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My publisher's been shipping me to comic-cons, and it seems that my readership overlaps perfectly with the comic-con crowd. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or awareness is going to occur that's much brighter coming from this dark, awful beginning. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I was born in 1962, and it seems that throughout my entire life the world has demanded peace but maintained conflict. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Once I start writing, I can't stop. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they'd have my autograph tattooed. I decided I wouldn't write on people anymore, but I'd give them arms and legs and if they wanted those autographed I'd do that. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" To be honest, I hate silence. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustrate my themes. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion - painting, writing, music. People seem less status-conscious. Even wealthy people buy second-hand clothes and look a little bit homeless. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People say I make up wild stories. But all I have to do is write down stuff that really happens. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Every time I write something, I think, this is the most offensive thing I will ever write. But no. I always surprise myself. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When I was little, my grandma used to get romance novels, and she would get hundreds of these, and she'd read a dozen a month. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" To merely observe your culture without contributing to it seems very close to existing as a ghost. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I want my characters to really overuse their coping mechanisms to the point where they break down within 300 pages. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My goal is more to be remembered. They'll remember this thing and like it in the future. The trick is to stay remembered long enough for that to happen. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The young men, they look to me for a story they can get nowhere else, a challenging risky story. "

Chuck Palahniuk