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" When the Mac ad campaign was in full swing, I quickened my pace as I went past certain bus stops. My wife told me that she loyally took a piece of chewing gum off my nose once. "

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" If I told my 18-year-old self that one day I'd have a sitcom and a sketch show on TV, I think he'd just drum his fingers and go, 'When? How long is that going to take?' "

Robert Webb

Sketch

Think

Self

" We call ourselves comedy writer-performers, and that encompasses everything, and I certainly have a very open mind about it. "

" I was the youngest of three brothers by five years, so I spent most of my childhood playing alone, being Zorro or some other superhero, doing Lego, watching telly and riding my bike. "

" I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning. "

Robert Webb

Children

" We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. "

" Parenting girls makes you quite gender-conscious - it's almost impossible to fight the power of pink. It's not such a terrible thing to want to be a princess when you're five, but it would be nice if there were some other options. "

" My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. "

" We think; therefore, we often talk rubbish. "

" I don't do much lying in real life because I don't get away with it. "

" My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig's ear of retaking my A-levels. "

" Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege. "

" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "

" Like most men, I can't say I am thrilled my hair's falling out, but then, if I really cared, I suppose I would wear a wig, get transplants, or start taking special pills, so I am obviously just putting up with it. "

" The strength of 'Peep Show' has always been that that it's quite traditional, but it's obviously presented in a very new way. "

" It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians. "

" We have a family holiday once a year, usually abroad, but that's it. I feel I should have holidays for my family's sake, but I'm not that adventurous. "

" Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots. "

" The female characters in 'Peep Show' are not 'strong': they are idiots. As idiotic as the men. "

" I was in the play 'Fat Pig in the West End,' which is a comedy but has dramatic moments. "

" Feminism is an attack on social practices and habits of thought that keep women and men boxed into gender roles that are harmful. "

" I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can't. "

" I get recognised a fair bit. It goes up when 'Peep Show' or the sketch show is on the telly or when we're doing loads of interviews. "

" If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That's the thing about being basically - whisper it quietly - happy, is that you don't really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you've got all disappears. "

" He likes 'Confetti,' and he doesn't like 'Star Wars.' I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again. "

" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "

" I suppose if I went to Turkey - I mean, I can't imagine going that far away, but if I did go to Turkey, yes, I would probably try to know 'please' and 'sorry' and 'thank you', and 'a beer please', and all the useful words. "

" I'm feeling around for what happens in a post-'Peep Show' world. "

" I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all. "

" I don't do much to keep in trim - I try to walk places instead of driving whenever I can, but I really ought to do more. "

Robert Webb

Driving

I Can

" One thing about the fantasy dinner party idea that no one considers is whether these people are going to get on. I would say John McEnroe and Ian McEwan, but what would they have to say to each other? "