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" When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again. "
Denis Leary
You
Again
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" My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance. "
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" I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while. "
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" Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true. "
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" Willem Dafoe and I are actually the same person. "
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" If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. "
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" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "
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" My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except, 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' So it's harder to get a show on the air, but at the same time, there are a lot of terrific shows. "
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" There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance. "
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" Anthony Mackie in 'The Hurt Locker' is everything an actor can hope to be. So rock steady in his portrayal that you immediately forget every performance he may have previously given, and focus only on the character in front of you. "
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" You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is. "
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" The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them. "
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" It says on the back of the Nyquil box, 'May cause drowsiness.' It should say, 'Don't make any plans, OK? Kiss your family and friends good-bye.' "
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" Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. "
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" The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart. "
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" Anybody who's done standup will tell you that there's nothing like it. The show starts at 8:00, the curtain goes up and there's nobody else except you and the audience, and you just perform for them for two hours. Nobody yells, 'Cut!' There are no retakes. That is still the most exciting medium for me, and I love it. "
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" Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate. "
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" I've eaten things that didn't complain this much. "
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" Temptation's something you have to deal with even if you're not famous. It's harder when you're famous because it's a lot more in your face, and that makes it a little more difficult to walk away from sometimes. "
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" Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us. "
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" Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it. "
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Authority
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Why
" I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens. "
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" I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids. "
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See
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" If you had no enemies, you had no fun. "
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" No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever. "
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" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "
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" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "
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" I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. "
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People
" Firefighters don't go on strike. "
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Strike
Firefighters
Go
" Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct. "
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Instinct
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Eating
" Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family. "
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