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" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "
Denis Leary
Will
Been
Emmys
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" My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance. "
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" I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens. "
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" Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently. "
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" No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever. "
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" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "
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" If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. "
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" No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about. "
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" Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time. "
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" People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes! "
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" There's no male Oprah. "
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" When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me. "
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" The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film. "
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" When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with 'No Cure For Cancer.' "
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" Technology is changing, so the viewership is getting broken up. My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' "
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" Certain movies like 'Wag The Dog,' we used improv on every scene that we did. Pretty much, we would shoot from the script and then some stuff that we came up with in rehearsal, and then we'd have at least one or two takes where we completely went off the script and just flew by the seat of our pants. "
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" George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. "
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" I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it. "
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" My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. "
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" I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff. "
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" I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God. "
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" Anybody who's done standup will tell you that there's nothing like it. The show starts at 8:00, the curtain goes up and there's nobody else except you and the audience, and you just perform for them for two hours. Nobody yells, 'Cut!' There are no retakes. That is still the most exciting medium for me, and I love it. "
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" Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. "
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" You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing. "
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" The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them. "
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" My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except, 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' So it's harder to get a show on the air, but at the same time, there are a lot of terrific shows. "
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" I'm pretty much a chocolate guy. I'm up for any type of chocolate. Any chocolate. "
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" I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album. "
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