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" You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to. "

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" Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. "

" I only aim at the powerful. "

" I've said it before: War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were 'German dogs.' They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds. "

" In order to understand why George W. Bush doesn't get it, you have to take several strands of common Texas attitude, then add an impressive degree of class-based obliviousness. What you end up with is a guy who sees himself as a perfectly nice fellow - and who is genuinely disconnected from the impact of his decisions on people. "

" Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. "

" For years, I have been trying to persuade people that George W. Bush, although no Einstein, is not stupid. "

" Fourteen-year-old boys are not part of a well-regulated militia. Members of wacky religious cults are not part of a well-regulated militia. Permitting unregulated citizens to have guns is destroying the security of this free state. "

" The Internet goes doot-doot-doot - it goes sideways. There's nothing hierarchical about it. And the best thing about it is also the worst thing about it, which is there are no gatekeepers on the Internet. Consequently, there's a whole lot of bad information on the Internet. But I think that sorts itself out over time. "

" Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced. "

" The uproar of the late '60s - the antiwar movement, black riots, angry women. It was a wonderful time. "

" Laws were changed and regulations repealed until an Enron can set sail without responsibility, supervision, or accountability. "

" The reason I take Rush Limbaugh seriously is not because he's offensive or right-wing, but because he is one of the few people addressing a large group of disaffected people in this country. And despite his frequent denials, Limbaugh does indeed have a somewhat cult-like effect on his ditto heads. "

" Sometimes misunderstandings between bloggers and the MSM are the result of simple ignorance. "

" Truth is, I've spent much of my life trying, unsuccessfully, to explode the myths about Texas. "

" I spent my girlhood as a Clydesdale among thoroughbreds. "

" I am one of those people who are out of touch with their emotions. I tend to treat my emotions like unpleasant relatives - a long-distance call once or twice or year is more than enough. If I got in touch with them, they might come to stay. "

" I really do think we're going through a period of concentration of ownership of media, and we're starting to see the effects at the editorial level, and it's all bad. This increased pressure for profits every quarter, smaller news hole, less coverage of important stuff - the extent that it's become one giant infotainment industry. "

" In most legislatures, punctilious attention to correct usage is considered elitist. The word 'government,' for example, is normally pronounced 'gummint'; bureaucracy is 'bureaucacy'; fiscal comes out 'physical,' and one moves not to suspend the rules, but to 'suppend.' "

" Arkansas, the state Bill Clinton loves and that loves him back, is a place with just no pretension at all. "

" I've always had trouble with male authority figures because my father was such a martinet. "

" Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse. "

" Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair's-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother? "

" Texas is still resistant to Howard Johnsons, interstate highways and some forms of phoniness. It is the place least likely to become a replica of everyplace else. It's authentically awful, comic, and weirdly charming, all at the same time. "

" I couldn't find any way to tell the truth in a regular newspaper. "

" Here's the deal on Texas. It's big. So big, there's about five distinct and different places here, separated from one another geologically, topographically, botanically, ethnically, culturally, and climatically. "

" All my life, I've been sort of a professional optimist, full of good cheer about matters political and journalistic. I always thought I'd get older and become an unnaturally cheerful old fart. But it's not happening. "

" One of the more urp-making habits of media mavens is presuming to speak for the American people, as in 'The American people won't stand for this!' "

" Truly, if you can't cover a five-car pile-up on Route 128, you should not be covering a presidential campaign. "

" I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" When I was first diagnosed, I went out, as a book person, and got some books on cancer and looked up my version of the disease. It said that I had about a 5 percent chance of survival. I said, 'Gosh, well, it's been a good run.' What I didn't realize is that in the two years since those books were published, things had shifted dramatically. "