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" Character is what was yesterday and will be tomorrow. "
Gail Sheehy
Yesterday
Character
Tomorrow
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" In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network. "
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" I'd visually have that idea. I'm diving off the end of the diving board. I'm not going to be worried about if I'm going to dive into a jellyfish or the water's going to be too cold or the boys are going to beat me. I'm just doing it. And if I do it, it's a good chance I'll make it. "
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" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "
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" Like everyone else in the first weeks after the tragedy of 9/11, I was looking frantically for some way to help. "
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" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "
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" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
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Wait
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" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "
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" I know I'm never going to probably see the Taj Mahal or, you know, climb Mt. Everest, but I can still maybe influence peoples' way of thinking by a story that I do, by something I learn about the world. "
Gail Sheehy
Influence
Story
Thinking
" Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation. "
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Changes
Own
Only
" The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests. "
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Meeting
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" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "
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" In my memoir, I admit that I've been as fearful of success as of failure. In fact, when 'Passages' was published, I so dreaded bad reviews that I ran away to Italy with a girlfriend and our children to hide out. "
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Bad
Failure
Hide
" I keep returning to the central question facing over-50 women as we move into our Second Adulthood. What are our goals for this stage in our lives? "
Gail Sheehy
Women
Stage
Goals
" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "
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" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "
Gail Sheehy
Say
Fear
Feelings
" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "
Gail Sheehy
Comfort
Spirit
Rest
" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "
Gail Sheehy
Caring
Appreciation
Others
" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! "
Gail Sheehy
Changes
Behind
Most
" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "
Gail Sheehy
Security
Temporary
Surrender
" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "
Gail Sheehy
Admit
Life
Mask
" To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. "
Gail Sheehy
Good
Therapist
Tested
" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "
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Lived
Feel
Through
" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "
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Hang
Mentor
Relationships
" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "
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Once
Very
Women
" Married at 23, a mother at 24, and blindsided by divorce at 28, I found myself struggling, like many young women I meet today, to strike a balance between my personal life and my career. "
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Meet
Myself
Today
" The first thing one notices about Jill Abramson is her short stature. The second is her intensity. "
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Her
Second
Short
" Being a pathfinder is to be willing to risk failure and still go on. "
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Being
Risk
Still
" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "
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Money
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Coffee
" I actually interviewed other people about myself, and that alerted me to the fact that I had to really investigate my memories. "
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Had
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" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "
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Think
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