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" I'm a liberal, but I think there's so much that the private sector can do and does do. "
Gail Sheehy
Private
Think
I Think
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" In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network. "
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" Like everyone else in the first weeks after the tragedy of 9/11, I was looking frantically for some way to help. "
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" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "
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" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "
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Years
Cancer
Clay
" It was my very good fortune to find a mentor, Clay Felker, who started my career at the 'New York Magazine' as a freelance writer when I had to quit my job at the 'Herald Tribune' to stay home with my young daughter. "
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" This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life. "
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Need
Life
" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "
Gail Sheehy
Lived
Feel
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" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "
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Money
Identity
Coffee
" I dare to do things - that's how I survive. "
Gail Sheehy
Survive
Dare
Things
" In 2009, I served as AARP's Ambassador of Caregiving. With a producer and cameraman, I traveled the country for months, interviewing hundreds of caregivers. "
Gail Sheehy
Ambassador
Country
Producer
" The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests. "
Gail Sheehy
Meeting
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Habit
" I know I'm never going to probably see the Taj Mahal or, you know, climb Mt. Everest, but I can still maybe influence peoples' way of thinking by a story that I do, by something I learn about the world. "
Gail Sheehy
Influence
Story
Thinking
" I'd visually have that idea. I'm diving off the end of the diving board. I'm not going to be worried about if I'm going to dive into a jellyfish or the water's going to be too cold or the boys are going to beat me. I'm just doing it. And if I do it, it's a good chance I'll make it. "
Gail Sheehy
Me
Water
Chance
" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "
Gail Sheehy
Admit
Life
Mask
" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "
Gail Sheehy
Say
Fear
Feelings
" If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing. "
Gail Sheehy
You
Will
Day
" The feminist spirit still lives! It shows most boldly among younger women from the millennial generation. "
Gail Sheehy
Still
Generation
Women
" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "
Gail Sheehy
Decision
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Change
" Back in 1968, when I was 30, my entire life blew up. I had a life plan, and it collapsed for no rational reason. "
Gail Sheehy
Up
Back
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" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "
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Mother
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" When I was immobilized by fear, I might have a panic attack. I've had a couple of panic attacks in my life. "
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Had
Life
My Life
" The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity. "
Gail Sheehy
Middle
Age
Perceptions
" Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath. "
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Breath
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Sex
" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "
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Time
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" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
Gail Sheehy
Wait
You
Women
" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "
Gail Sheehy
Caring
Appreciation
Others
" Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough. "
Gail Sheehy
Award
Good
People
" To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. "
Gail Sheehy
Good
Therapist
Tested
" I actually interviewed other people about myself, and that alerted me to the fact that I had to really investigate my memories. "
Gail Sheehy
Had
People
Fact
" It is a paradox that as we reach out prime, we also see there is a place where it finishes. "
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Paradox
Where
Place