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" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "

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" Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough. "

Gail Sheehy

Award

Good

People

" Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation. "

" The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity. "

" Back in 1968, when I was 30, my entire life blew up. I had a life plan, and it collapsed for no rational reason. "

Gail Sheehy

Back

Life

" Being a pathfinder is to be willing to risk failure and still go on. "

" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "

" I found that female pathfinders generally integrate characteristics commonly associated with being women - like the capacity to be intimate - with 'male' ones like ambition and courage. "

" In the case of my husband, we found that facing a life-threatening illness prodded us to make a dramatic change in our lives. "

" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "

" In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network. "

" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "

" Character is what was yesterday and will be tomorrow. "

" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "

" You don't have to feel confident to act confident. In fact, it's the most important acting job you can learn. "

" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "

" It was my very good fortune to find a mentor, Clay Felker, who started my career at the 'New York Magazine' as a freelance writer when I had to quit my job at the 'Herald Tribune' to stay home with my young daughter. "

" Spontaneity, the hallmark of childhood, is well worth cultivating to counteract the rigidity that may otherwise set in as we grow older. "

" This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life. "

" No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. "

" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "

" I was devastated when I got the review for my first book. The book came out a couple years before the women's movement broke through, and people were putting it down, asking, 'Why does the woman in this book need to get a divorce? Why can't she just shut up and be happy?' "

" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "

" Career-driven millennials are strategic about working obsessively while they are single and earning enough money to afford advanced education. Most are patient enough to wait until 30 or later to develop their dream. "

" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "

" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "

" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "

" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "

" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "

" In 2009, I served as AARP's Ambassador of Caregiving. With a producer and cameraman, I traveled the country for months, interviewing hundreds of caregivers. "

" When I was immobilized by fear, I might have a panic attack. I've had a couple of panic attacks in my life. "