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" I dare to do things - that's how I survive. "
Gail Sheehy
Survive
Dare
Things
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" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "
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" It was so naive to think that there was nothing interesting that happened after 55. Come on, there's a whole second adulthood! "
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" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "
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" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "
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" I'm a liberal, but I think there's so much that the private sector can do and does do. "
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" Career-driven millennials are strategic about working obsessively while they are single and earning enough money to afford advanced education. Most are patient enough to wait until 30 or later to develop their dream. "
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" The dream for many millennial women is to make a difference as social or political entrepreneurs. They are using the social media and marketing tools they have mastered to empower less fortunate women and direct them onto career tracks that women have traditionally avoided, like science and technology. "
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" The delights of self-discovery are always available. "
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" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "
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" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "
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Security
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" Like everyone else in the first weeks after the tragedy of 9/11, I was looking frantically for some way to help. "
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" It seems like, to me, somewhere between 30 and 35 is a really, really good time to turn your eggs into babies. "
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" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "
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" To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. "
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" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
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" I found that female pathfinders generally integrate characteristics commonly associated with being women - like the capacity to be intimate - with 'male' ones like ambition and courage. "
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" Married at 23, a mother at 24, and blindsided by divorce at 28, I found myself struggling, like many young women I meet today, to strike a balance between my personal life and my career. "
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" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "
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Say
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Feelings
" Back in 1968, when I was 30, my entire life blew up. I had a life plan, and it collapsed for no rational reason. "
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Back
Life
" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "
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Grief
Judging
People
" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "
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Women
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" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "
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" Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation. "
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" I keep returning to the central question facing over-50 women as we move into our Second Adulthood. What are our goals for this stage in our lives? "
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" The first thing one notices about Jill Abramson is her short stature. The second is her intensity. "
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Second
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" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "
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" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "
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" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "
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" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "
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She
" The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity. "
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Middle
Age
Perceptions