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" A lot of new stepparents fall into the trap of letting children disobey household expectations in order to gain favor with them. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" Divorce is one of the most destructive, emotionally traumatic experiences a human being can go through, no matter if you're the instigator or the recipient. It's hard, and it hurts, and it takes a long time to feel normal again. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Parents go to sleep early. This is universal. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I grew up in a very small town in North Carolina, weird and pudgy, without too many other kids to play with. I spent a lot of time watching TV. It was my reassurance that the outside world was bigger and more colorful than the one I lived in. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Dealing with wedding stuff is a bit of a double-edged sword - it seems that divorcees are expected to either burn it all on the front lawn, tears silently coursing down their faces, or keep the stuff, shrine-like, concealed somewhere in their homes. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I'd watch shows like 'The Kids in the Hall' or 'Twin Peaks,' and I'd see weird people being celebrated and appreciated without compromising their weirdness. On 'The Facts of Life,' I'd see girls who were pudgy, beautiful, popular, tomboyish - many ways of being female - and I'd feel quietly reassured. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Experiences don't make us damaged goods; it's what we do with those experiences that matters. "

Emily V. Gordon

" No matter how you handle alcohol at your wedding, you will most likely be upsetting someone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I definitely think, when you're a teenager, it's more forgiving to talk to strangers and go up to people at a mall or whatever. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "

Emily V. Gordon

" As my marriage was slowly dissolving into silent meals and awkward nights of avoiding conversation, I started pondering an unmarried future and wondered if I'd ever be able to hack being single again. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I had a tightly knit group of female friends in elementary school - we called ourselves the Sensational Six. "

Emily V. Gordon

" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "

Emily V. Gordon

" That's part of what a relationship is: you don't experience things in the same way. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Far from 'rotting my brain,' as I was often told would happen, TV helped me feel less alone at a time when I spent so much time alone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Post-divorce, the world can feel harsh and full of jagged edges. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In high school, I decided that all of my female friends were stupid and traded them for guy friends. I loved horror movies and heavy metal and used these interests to become a 'guys' girl.' "

Emily V. Gordon

" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "

Emily V. Gordon

" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "

Emily V. Gordon

" As any daytime judge show can tell you, spending someone's money or taking their stuff because they hurt your feelings is not justified. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Sometimes we put so much effort into things we're doing, like dating or wedding planning, that we don't stop to think about whether or not we even want the results of that effort. "

Emily V. Gordon

" There's nothing like listening to the drone of QVC's always-bubbly pitchwomen, as they try to move loose-fitting tunics with 'just the right amount of sparkle,' to soothe you into a healing slumber. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Nothing makes me feel more mushy and full of love for my husband than going back and looking at our flirtation unfolding online. I love reading our old e-mails, texts, and Gchats. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Without knowing your own history, you are doomed to repeat it. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage will not change your spouse. It will not make him or her more mature, more loyal to you, or better at housework. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I think it's lovely when people are more involved in local politics. "

Emily V. Gordon