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" Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. "

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" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "

Emily V. Gordon

Time

Long

Relationship

" I don't remember being put into the coma, but I do have a lot of weird memories from being under. This may be because I was in a coma via medicine rather than trauma. That time period played out for me as one long rambling dream where I was at a hospital to visit my boyfriend, who I thought was in an accident. "

" I am somewhat grateful to the disintegration of my marriage for teaching me a lot about myself and about relationships, and though I wish it hadn't been such a taxing lesson, I wouldn't change a thing. "

" As my marriage was slowly dissolving into silent meals and awkward nights of avoiding conversation, I started pondering an unmarried future and wondered if I'd ever be able to hack being single again. "

" Don't expect yourself to immediately love your stepchildren. In fact, you may hate them for a bit. "

" Get married wherever you like, make accommodations for the people you love so they can attend, and forget about the people who can't. "

" Sometimes, I hate-watch television. "

Emily V. Gordon

Sometimes

Television

" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "

" Cheating is very rarely about the actual act of being with another person. "

" If you've experienced cheating in a new marriage, the real work is not obsessively combing through all the details of what happened, but rather figuring out if your relationship is worth saving. "

" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "

" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "

" I have a pretty intense work ethic. If something's not done, I cannot let go until I get it done. "

Emily V. Gordon

Work

Get

" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "

" Balanced, passionate, grounded people are the ones whose careers are ultimately the most successful. "

" It's easy to isolate yourself when you're buried in work, or to rely only on work friends for empathy. And while your work friends will always 'get it' more than your life partner, they don't know how to comfort you like your partner does. "

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "

" Parents go to sleep early. This is universal. "

" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "

Emily V. Gordon

Good

Men

" You're not a victim of your divorce. What you decide to do with yourself and your personal life after your marriage ends is your decision, and completely under your control. "

" I thought of 'The Big Sick' as a placeholder title, to be completely honest. I've grown to love it. "

" I remember being a teenager and feeling like I could talk to anyone anywhere about anything. "

Emily V. Gordon

Anything

Remember

" Unequivocally, individual human beings who live together will always have different standards of what a 'clean house' looks like. "

" Marriage isn't just about two people who fit together well. It's about two people who figure out how to fit together well. "

" In my professional and personal life, when I meet people who feel broken after a divorce, they can usually be divided into two categories: those who truly believe there's something wrong with them, and those that are using their status as armor. "

" We all have an idea of how we like to be treated that we would like others to adhere to, and somehow we've gotten in our heads that the perfect person for us will just know what this code of behavior is. "

" Awkward conversations are painful, but they're way easier than divorce, resentment, and heartbreak. "

" Being completely independent doesn't make you a strong woman - it's being strong enough to trust yourself in other people's hands that takes guts. "

" The period that directly follows the dissolution of a long term relationship is extremely volatile, with emotions running the gamut from misery to elation to relief to terror. "