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" Almost every week, someone's mad at me. "
Jimmy Kimmel
Week
Someone
Almost
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" If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted. "
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" I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven't walked on it in probably four months. Now it's more of an upright dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, birds will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own. "
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" My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians. "
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" At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes. "
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" You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. "
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" The idea that you would not only exercise but that you would enjoy it is very difficult for me to understand. I just hate it. "
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" I try hard not to repeat myself and not to do material other people are doing. We transcribe every other late-night show to make sure there's no similarity. "
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" I have like fifteen televisions in my house. "
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" I'm always looking to the next thing. There are always hurdles, whether it's the White House dinner or hosting charity events or that night's show: Until they're over, I worry, then I move right on to the next thing. It's hard for me to enjoy the moment. I'm just thinking about not failing. "
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" I'm a terrible golfer. "
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