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" That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. "
Jimmy Kimmel
Boss
Always
Think
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" I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. "
Elayne Boosler
Place
Truth
Thought
" I just want to be myself and be real and be funny. "
Bebe Rexha
Be Real
Real
Want
" I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based on this sadness and tired emotional disdain for the world. "
David Thewlis
Funny
Writing
Sadness
" I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed. "
Brooke Nevin
Pet
Bed
Funny
" Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? "
James Thurber
You
Like
Funny
" The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
Best
Class
Find
" Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. "
Jennette McCurdy
Night
Friends
Fun
" My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. "
Mitch Hedberg
Did
Fake
Funny
" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "
Billy Wilder
Going
Funny
You
" I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. "
Douglas Adams
Year
Funny
Dead
" The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. "
Brendon Urie
Funny
Self-Centered
People
" It's funny: When I first heard they were thinking of me for the president in 'Independence Day,' I just assumed it was a comedy - I didn't exactly think of myself as leader-of-the-free-world material. "
Bill Pullman
Day
Think
Myself
" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "
Steve Carell
Person
Else
Funny
" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "
Will Rogers
Funny
Political Party
Political
" I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great. "
Will Ferrell
Night
People
Funny
" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "
Ron White
Watch
Tell
Story
" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "
Abraham Lincoln
Memory
Enough
Funny
" You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. "
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Always
You
Man
" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "
Larry David
You
Bad
Think
" The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment. "
Dwayne Johnson
Moment
Thought
Men
" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "
Carol Burnett
Laughter
Funny
Doing
" Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way. "
Kevin Hart
Right
Funny
Anything
" Electricity is really just organized lightning. "
George Carlin
Organized
Electricity
Funny
" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "
Sylvia Plath
Dark
Hair
Eyes
" I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way. "
Elton John
You
Find
Funny
" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "
Will Rogers
My Life
Think
Funny
" You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. "
Ken Kesey
Strong
Be Strong
You
" Never fight an inanimate object. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Object
Fight
Funny
" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "
George Eliot
Thought
Funny
Him
" I'm probably not very funny. The scripts just don't come in, or the ones that do aren't that good. I suppose I'm just an old drama queen, really. "
Ray Winstone
Queen
Old
Just