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" I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie? "

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" If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted. "

" The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it. "

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" I'm always looking to the next thing. There are always hurdles, whether it's the White House dinner or hosting charity events or that night's show: Until they're over, I worry, then I move right on to the next thing. It's hard for me to enjoy the moment. I'm just thinking about not failing. "

" I try hard not to repeat myself and not to do material other people are doing. We transcribe every other late-night show to make sure there's no similarity. "

" You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. "

" Almost every week, someone's mad at me. "

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" That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. "

" You don't need to exorcise your personal demons onstage. "