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" Basically, I think some of the weight helped take some of the walls down in reality, so basically I got a little more confident. I'm definitely not super confident, but I am confident that I don't have to hide behind those layers of fat and that I can actually open up to people a little more. "

Lisa Lampanelli

Reality

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" Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. "

" I've really been working on the emotional and internal issues that made me eat in the first place. It's been a real journey. "

" I just really work hard on myself every day. "

" Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts. "

" I think people were just seriously happy to find a funny woman who does comedy like a man. Because I learned how to do comedy from guys, from watching those Dean Martin roasts years ago. "

" I honestly feel like 99 percent of people have some kind of self-hate about their looks, and if I can joke about mine, maybe they can feel better about theirs. "

" William Shatner is living proof that if you are talented and nice, you can work in this industry forever. "

" I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have a breakdown. "

" I hate comics who look at comedy as therapy. But at least it gets things out of my system in a funny way. "

" I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I'd learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels. "

" I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want to see the inside of it. "

" Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire. "

" I really think the biggest honor, as a comic, is to get roasted by either the Friars Club or the Comedy Central or someone like that. Because it really shows, you know, that you've arrived. "

" I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else. It's already built. "

" Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over the weight to really work on this. For whatever reason, I had to take the weight off to do this work. "

Lisa Lampanelli

Work

Said

" When I decided to do 'The Celebrity Apprentice,' there was absolutely no question that I would play the game for GMHC. "

" I usually get so warned when I go to Detroit, like, 'Oh my God, don't go to this section, don't go to that section.' I've never had any issues in Detroit. I love that there's enough of a racial mix of people to make fun of. I've always had a good time there. "

" Comedy is like music - there are genres and styles for every taste. Katy Perry is there for people who like frothy pop music. Metallica is there for people who like head-banging metal. And Susan Boyle is there for... well, I don't who the hell is listening to that freak of nature, but that's not the point. In art, there's something for everybody. "

" I can really serve the audience instead of making this about me and about serving myself and my pocketbook. "

" I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines. "

" Make a list of the people in your 'choir'... If you're not on your own list, then you're doing something wrong. "

" I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I don't know. "

" None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes. "

" I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I've been doing comedy for twenty years. "

" If Flavor Flav was any smaller and darker, Brad and Angelina would try to adopt him. "

" I looked around and couldn't believe no one has written a show about women and eating. It's the biggest issue women have. "

" I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain. "

" We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate. "

" This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food. "

" I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society. "