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" Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Art was always my main focus; I fell into writing by accident in the 1980s, writing magazine articles to pay for my studio. I have to put myself into the position of writing; sometimes it doesn't work, and sometimes it works great. "

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" I've always felt like an alien trapped in a human form. We all do at some time or other; for me it's a permanent state, and I'm still unsure if Earth is a penance or a reward. "

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" It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you. "

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" Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next. "

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" Fashionable people can opt out of the fashion stream, but a stylish person never becomes unstylish unless they hit their head on a rock and suffer brain damage. "

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" I don't like telephones: I don't like when they ring. Just because it rings, you have to pick it up. I don't even like opening mail; I'm weird. "

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" I think as a species we're not designed to be able to think more than one year into the future - if that. Even trying to imagine one year from now makes most people feel like they've been given a huge boring chunk of homework that's too hard to do. "

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" It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count. "

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" With 'Worst. Person. Ever.' I knew where it started and where it had to end, but I threw Raymond as many curveballs as I could along the way. He's like the coyote in the 'Road Runner' cartoons. "

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" Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely. "

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" If I don't learn something new every year, I go crazy. "

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" Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. "

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" Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. "

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" Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common. "

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" Everyone should have a tailor. David Wilkes, the guy who does my stuff, is like, 'Well you're a writer - do you want a special pen compartment or something?' Bespoke: That's the term you want to get out there. "

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" The advent of cellphones may, in the end, be no more relevant than the ability of laptops to change our written documents into ones using cool new fonts. "

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" Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without. "

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" Remember travel agents? Remember how they just kind of vanished one day? Well, that's where all the other jobs that once made us middle class are going, to that same magical, class-killing, job-sucking wormhole into which travel agency jobs vanished, never to return. "

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" I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock. "

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" When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down? "

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" The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top. "

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" Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence. "

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" Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine. "

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" Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. "

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" I'm agoraphobic. I can't deal with crowds. "

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" Quick. Name ten dead redheads. "

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" When you think about Twitter and you think what a dumb stupid throwaway technology, and then you have the Iranian elections and it actually saves the day - you can't prejudge technologies now because they have effects you may not have intended. "

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" When I look at my daily schedule, I feel like a trout flopping about on a dock, drowning in the air. Some people are ruthless with their schedules. Not me. I wing it. "

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" The future and eternity are two entirely different things. "

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" If you waste five minutes of time a day, over the course of a year that adds up to one full work day. Think of five wasted minutes as a slow-release holiday drug. Savour it. "

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