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" The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests. "

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" Career-driven millennials are strategic about working obsessively while they are single and earning enough money to afford advanced education. Most are patient enough to wait until 30 or later to develop their dream. "

" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "

" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "

" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "

" The dream for many millennial women is to make a difference as social or political entrepreneurs. They are using the social media and marketing tools they have mastered to empower less fortunate women and direct them onto career tracks that women have traditionally avoided, like science and technology. "

" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "

" If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on the whole role of primary caregiver, you can be pretty sure your sibling who lives farthest away is going to call you and say, 'You don't know what you're doing.' Because they're not on the spot, and they probably feel guilty. "

" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "

" It is a paradox that as we reach out prime, we also see there is a place where it finishes. "

" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "

" In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network. "

" The delights of self-discovery are always available. "

" I was devastated when I got the review for my first book. The book came out a couple years before the women's movement broke through, and people were putting it down, asking, 'Why does the woman in this book need to get a divorce? Why can't she just shut up and be happy?' "

" When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. "

" Ah, mastery... what a profoundly satisfying feeling when one finally gets on top of a new set of skills... and then sees the light under the new door those skills can open, even as another door is closing. "

" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "

" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "

" To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. "

" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "

" I keep returning to the central question facing over-50 women as we move into our Second Adulthood. What are our goals for this stage in our lives? "

" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "

" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "

" Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath. "

" We really only have two choices. Play it safe, or take a chance. For me, pulling back because of fear has always made me feel worse. "

" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "

" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "

" Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation. "

" It was my very good fortune to find a mentor, Clay Felker, who started my career at the 'New York Magazine' as a freelance writer when I had to quit my job at the 'Herald Tribune' to stay home with my young daughter. "

" Spontaneity, the hallmark of childhood, is well worth cultivating to counteract the rigidity that may otherwise set in as we grow older. "

" I found that female pathfinders generally integrate characteristics commonly associated with being women - like the capacity to be intimate - with 'male' ones like ambition and courage. "