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" To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. "
Gail Sheehy
Good
Therapist
Tested
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" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "
Gail Sheehy
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" If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. "
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Change
Really
" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "
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" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "
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" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "
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Crisis
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" When I was immobilized by fear, I might have a panic attack. I've had a couple of panic attacks in my life. "
Gail Sheehy
Had
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" Married at 23, a mother at 24, and blindsided by divorce at 28, I found myself struggling, like many young women I meet today, to strike a balance between my personal life and my career. "
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" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "
Gail Sheehy
Hot
Over
Years
" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "
Gail Sheehy
Grief
Judging
People
" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
Gail Sheehy
Wait
You
Women
" We really only have two choices. Play it safe, or take a chance. For me, pulling back because of fear has always made me feel worse. "
Gail Sheehy
Play
Me
Chance
" Spontaneity, the hallmark of childhood, is well worth cultivating to counteract the rigidity that may otherwise set in as we grow older. "
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May
Older
Well
" Career-driven millennials are strategic about working obsessively while they are single and earning enough money to afford advanced education. Most are patient enough to wait until 30 or later to develop their dream. "
Gail Sheehy
Wait
Education
Dream
" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "
Gail Sheehy
Mother
Children
Daughter
" In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network. "
Gail Sheehy
Friends
Humor
Prayer
" This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life. "
Gail Sheehy
Own
Need
Life
" I actually interviewed other people about myself, and that alerted me to the fact that I had to really investigate my memories. "
Gail Sheehy
Had
People
Fact
" The delights of self-discovery are always available. "
Gail Sheehy
Learning
Always
Self-Discovery
" You don't have to feel confident to act confident. In fact, it's the most important acting job you can learn. "
Gail Sheehy
Job
Acting
Feel
" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "
Gail Sheehy
Up
Comfort
Comfort Zone
" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! "
Gail Sheehy
Changes
Behind
Most
" Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. "
Gail Sheehy
Go
Letting Go
Certainties
" If you begin to think you are solely responsible for keeping your loved one alive and safe, you will eventually find yourself playing God. This phase can develop into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. "
Gail Sheehy
Think
God
Yourself
" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "
Gail Sheehy
Hang
Mentor
Relationships
" The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests. "
Gail Sheehy
Meeting
Action
Habit
" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "
Gail Sheehy
Soup
Stress
Stupid
" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "
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Security
Temporary
Surrender
" My husband, Clay Felker, died 17 years after his first cancer due to secondary conditions that developed from treatment. "
Gail Sheehy
Years
Cancer
Clay
" Like everyone else in the first weeks after the tragedy of 9/11, I was looking frantically for some way to help. "
Gail Sheehy
Way
Looking
Everyone
" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "
Gail Sheehy
Decision
Women
Change