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" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "

Gail Sheehy

Say

Fear

Feelings

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" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "

Gail Sheehy

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" You don't have to feel confident to act confident. In fact, it's the most important acting job you can learn. "

" It was my very good fortune to find a mentor, Clay Felker, who started my career at the 'New York Magazine' as a freelance writer when I had to quit my job at the 'Herald Tribune' to stay home with my young daughter. "

" The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity. "

" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "

" I'm a liberal, but I think there's so much that the private sector can do and does do. "

" Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough. "

" I actually interviewed other people about myself, and that alerted me to the fact that I had to really investigate my memories. "

" People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them. "

" We really only have two choices. Play it safe, or take a chance. For me, pulling back because of fear has always made me feel worse. "

Gail Sheehy

Play

Chance

" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! "

" It is a paradox that as we reach out prime, we also see there is a place where it finishes. "

" I'd visually have that idea. I'm diving off the end of the diving board. I'm not going to be worried about if I'm going to dive into a jellyfish or the water's going to be too cold or the boys are going to beat me. I'm just doing it. And if I do it, it's a good chance I'll make it. "

Gail Sheehy

Water

Chance

" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "

" Most women have learned a great deal about how to set goals for our First Adulthood and how to roll with the punches when we hit a rough passage. But we're less prepared for our Second Adulthood as we approach life after retirement, where there are no fixed entrances or exits, and lots of sand into which it is easy to bury our heads. "

" When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. "

" I keep returning to the central question facing over-50 women as we move into our Second Adulthood. What are our goals for this stage in our lives? "

" No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness. "

" I was devastated when I got the review for my first book. The book came out a couple years before the women's movement broke through, and people were putting it down, asking, 'Why does the woman in this book need to get a divorce? Why can't she just shut up and be happy?' "

" It seems like, to me, somewhere between 30 and 35 is a really, really good time to turn your eggs into babies. "

Gail Sheehy

Turn

Time

" If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing. "

" Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once. "

" No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. "

" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "

" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "

" Eventually, all mentor-disciple relationships are meant to pull apart, usually sometime in the mid-30s. Those who hang on, eventually the mentor drops the disciple, and that's no fun. "

" Adapting to our Second Adulthood is not all about the money. It requires thinking about how to find a new locus of identity or how to adjust to a spouse who stops working and who may loll, enjoying coffee and reading the paper online while you're still commuting. "

" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "

" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "