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" Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses. "

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" To this day, I haven't felt like I've made it. I'm waiting for them to pull the rug out from under me. I kind of feel like George Plimpton; I'm just experiencing this whole business with the really talented people. "

" I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere. "

" I lived in Germany from when I was 6 until I was 10, so, of course, I played soccer. When I came back to the States, nobody played soccer, and none of the schools taught German, so I couldn't continue to excel in those categories. "

" When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while. "

" As you get older, subconsciously you start thinking about mortality and protecting your offspring. It opens up a whole new avenue of life experiences. "

" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "

" I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so we all got in the car and split. I don't really remember much. I grew up in Connecticut most of my life and then four years in Germany. My father worked for a helicopter company, so we went over there. "

" I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it. "

" I look back at 'Saturday Night Live' and I think, some people didn't like me doing 'Weekend Update.' Who cares? A lot of people did. When you're reaching that many people, you're not going to have everybody like you. "

" I'm a member of the Studio City Driving Range. They have a nice little par-3 AstroTurf course and driving range. You know, I don't belong to a course because I don't golf that much, so it's not worth it for me to join a club. "

" When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood. "

" I think having a child makes you calm down. You sit still. "

" The thing is when I started doing standup, you had to have a clean act because that's how you got on television. There weren't all these cable shows. Also, I didn't want to have that kind of act in case my family came to see me or my kid one day. "

" You don't want to throw out a good idea and have nobody get excited about it. It takes the wind out of your sails. "

" I don't feel the pressure and stress of having to be a comic in a club every night. I accomplished a lot of things; I did lot of things, and I don't feel like I'm missing out when I am home with my son. "

" When I would see my friends with their kids, I was envious that you can use children to get out of just about anything. If you don't feel like going to a dinner party, you could say, 'My kid's sick. I can't make it.' Who's gonna argue with you? "

" I just loved stand-up comics as a kid. I'd watch them on 'The Tonight Show,' and I thought what a great craft it was to come out on stage with no instrument or anything and be able to entertain people. "

" A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. "

" Sometimes people come to my standup show, and they think they're going to see Doug Wilson. Or they see me on the street, and they call me Doug Wilson. "

" I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman. "

" Every time I think of Doug Wilson, I think 'pathetic.' When it comes between something for himself or something for righteousness, he'll choose himself. "

" I recently purchased an iPad 2 because I didn't want to wait for the iPad 3 and iPad 4. "

" I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time. "

" I feel guilty: when I'm not golfing, I feel like I should be golfing. And when I'm golfing, I feel like I should be home working or spending time with the family. So it's a real conundrum. "

" Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them. "

" I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things. "

" I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. "

" I like YouTube; it's really entertaining. A lot of it is crappy stuff, but there are a couple diamonds in the rough there. "

" Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it was hard to be on the road because you go through relationships because your girlfriend kinda got tired of you being gone. "

" I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals. "