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" As you get older, subconsciously you start thinking about mortality and protecting your offspring. It opens up a whole new avenue of life experiences. "

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" I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper. "

" The thing is when I started doing standup, you had to have a clean act because that's how you got on television. There weren't all these cable shows. Also, I didn't want to have that kind of act in case my family came to see me or my kid one day. "

" Every time I think of Doug Wilson, I think 'pathetic.' When it comes between something for himself or something for righteousness, he'll choose himself. "

" Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses. "

" I used to go to the Hollywood YMCA when I first came here, and I was standing in front of the mirror doing curls, and I noticed this guy next to me also doing curls. He was grimacing a lot, and I noticed he had an underbite. I looked more closely and realized it was Bruce Springsteen. "

" Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them. "

" Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled. "

" Print is definitely more nutritious. When I leave a website, I'm hungry again an hour later - especially the Chinese websites. "

" I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so we all got in the car and split. I don't really remember much. I grew up in Connecticut most of my life and then four years in Germany. My father worked for a helicopter company, so we went over there. "

" I tend to listen to Sirius XM Radio. "

" Any day that is designated to shower the person you love with love is my favorite holiday. "

" I worked for a temp agency called Manpower. "

" All I ever wanted to do was stand-up. It kind of charges me and gives me a rush. "

" When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood. "

" With music, you're laying it all out there. They're judging you right away, and you can lose them quick. With the comedy, you've always got another joke to redeem yourself. Or, even if you've only got one joke, at least the punch line is at the end. Then they have to at least pay attention until the end. "

" A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. "

" It's kind of fun when you're playing characters that aren't quite on the up and up and people still like you. "

" Sometimes people come to my standup show, and they think they're going to see Doug Wilson. Or they see me on the street, and they call me Doug Wilson. "

" I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time. "

" I was 5-foot-8 when I graduated high school, but then I shot up to 6-foot-4 and got more into playing basketball. "

" I think having a child makes you calm down. You sit still. "

" I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version. "

" I think I definitely would have ended up in some kind of show business. I was very interested in music when I was younger. This was back when Crosby, Stills and Nash were around. "

" I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push. "

" When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while. "

" I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past. "

" When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together. "

" I feel guilty: when I'm not golfing, I feel like I should be golfing. And when I'm golfing, I feel like I should be home working or spending time with the family. So it's a real conundrum. "

" It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! "

" You don't want to throw out a good idea and have nobody get excited about it. It takes the wind out of your sails. "