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" Don't sacrifice alone time with your spouse just because the kids seem needy. A united front requires adult time alone, so put it in the calendar and make it a priority. A house cannot stand on a shaky foundation. "

Emily V. Gordon

Foundation

Time

Sacrifice

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" Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. "

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" Parents go to sleep early. This is universal. "

" Get married wherever you like, make accommodations for the people you love so they can attend, and forget about the people who can't. "

" Not deciding is a decision. People don't realize that not making a decision is a decision in itself. "

" Sometimes new spouses don't fully process the commitment they've made until after the deal is done, and then they panic. "

" As any daytime judge show can tell you, spending someone's money or taking their stuff because they hurt your feelings is not justified. "

" Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. "

" I think it's lovely when people are more involved in local politics. "

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" In some cases, newlyweds want so badly for things to be perfect that they ignore warning signs, both in themselves and each other. "

" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "

" Sometimes we are much better at judging people based on how they treat everyone other than ourselves. We make a million excuses for why they treat us how they do. "

" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "

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" Marriage, or any committed partnership, has become sacred to me, powerful and fragile all at the same time. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" It's absolutely amazing to me that anyone allowed their children to watch 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' in the '90s; it's dark, gross, nihilistic, and absolutely bizarre. "

" That's part of what a relationship is: you don't experience things in the same way. "

" I haven't always been the best advocate for my own body. I was a too-tall, pudgy child who felt completely out of control of the genetic lottery ticket she'd been given, so in retaliation, I shut down. I ignored my body and hated it for not being tiny and cute like my friends' bodies. "

" Dealing with wedding stuff is a bit of a double-edged sword - it seems that divorcees are expected to either burn it all on the front lawn, tears silently coursing down their faces, or keep the stuff, shrine-like, concealed somewhere in their homes. "

" I think it's always good to get into your partner's mindset. "

" We all have an idea of how we like to be treated that we would like others to adhere to, and somehow we've gotten in our heads that the perfect person for us will just know what this code of behavior is. "

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

" If you don't simply communicate with your spouse what household tasks you would like them to do, you are setting yourself up to be angry. "

Emily V. Gordon

Yourself

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" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "

" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "

" Never marry because it seems like what you should do. "

" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "

" I am fairly convinced that people plan destination weddings because they would actually like to elope but want to have given you the option to attend. "

" Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. "

" Far from 'rotting my brain,' as I was often told would happen, TV helped me feel less alone at a time when I spent so much time alone. "

" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "

" Love is a good thing. "