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" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "
Emily V. Gordon
Learning
Women
Own
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" The period that directly follows the dissolution of a long term relationship is extremely volatile, with emotions running the gamut from misery to elation to relief to terror. "
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" Sometimes we are much better at judging people based on how they treat everyone other than ourselves. We make a million excuses for why they treat us how they do. "
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" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "
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" A lot of new stepparents fall into the trap of letting children disobey household expectations in order to gain favor with them. "
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" In high school, I decided that all of my female friends were stupid and traded them for guy friends. I loved horror movies and heavy metal and used these interests to become a 'guys' girl.' "
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" I remember being a teenager and feeling like I could talk to anyone anywhere about anything. "
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" I definitely think, when you're a teenager, it's more forgiving to talk to strangers and go up to people at a mall or whatever. "
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" I grew up in a town where there were no Muslims whatsoever, and there was not a lot of exposure. "
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" You're not a victim of your divorce. What you decide to do with yourself and your personal life after your marriage ends is your decision, and completely under your control. "
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" Cheating is very rarely about the actual act of being with another person. "
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" Stays at the in-laws' aren't inherently sexy. "
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" As my marriage was slowly dissolving into silent meals and awkward nights of avoiding conversation, I started pondering an unmarried future and wondered if I'd ever be able to hack being single again. "
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" It's easy to isolate yourself when you're buried in work, or to rely only on work friends for empathy. And while your work friends will always 'get it' more than your life partner, they don't know how to comfort you like your partner does. "
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" That's part of what a relationship is: you don't experience things in the same way. "
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" Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. "
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" Marriage will not change your spouse. It will not make him or her more mature, more loyal to you, or better at housework. "
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" When I was young and less wise, I thought that being a feminist meant being independent. It meant not sacrificing your needs for anyone else's and not relying on anyone else for even a smidgen of your happiness or well being. "
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" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "
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" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "
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" In some cases, newlyweds want so badly for things to be perfect that they ignore warning signs, both in themselves and each other. "
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" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "
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" Sometimes, I hate-watch television. "
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" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "
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" Marriage isn't just about two people who fit together well. It's about two people who figure out how to fit together well. "
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" I had a tightly knit group of female friends in elementary school - we called ourselves the Sensational Six. "
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" Don't expect yourself to immediately love your stepchildren. In fact, you may hate them for a bit. "
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" I thought of 'The Big Sick' as a placeholder title, to be completely honest. I've grown to love it. "
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" I'm a mental-health advocate big time, so I think it's great when depression is a thing that's discussed out in the open, because it's still way too stigmatized. "
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" Dealing with wedding stuff is a bit of a double-edged sword - it seems that divorcees are expected to either burn it all on the front lawn, tears silently coursing down their faces, or keep the stuff, shrine-like, concealed somewhere in their homes. "
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" Post-divorce, the world can feel harsh and full of jagged edges. "
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