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" How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print. "

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" Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy. "

" Democracy divides people into workers and loafers. It makes no provision for those who have no time to work. "

" Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden. "

" Scandal begins when the police put a stop to it. "

" The mission of the press is to spread culture while destroying the attention span. "

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" Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid. "

" Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram. "

" The closer the look one takes at a word, the greater distance from which it looks back. "

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" I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am. "

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" Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess. "

" Sexuality poorly repressed unsettles some families; well repressed, it unsettles the whole world. "

" To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. "

" When a man is treated like a beast, he says, 'After all, I'm human.' When he behaves like a beast, he says 'After all, I'm only human.' "

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" I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don't say what it wants to hear. "

" Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays. "

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" Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write. "

" Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots. "

" A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants. "