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" Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special. "

Garry Shandling

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" I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. "

Garry Shandling

" My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. "

Garry Shandling

" Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. "

Garry Shandling

" I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green. "

Garry Shandling

" Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. "

Garry Shandling

" Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? "

Garry Shandling

" Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. "

Garry Shandling

" There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored. "

Garry Shandling

" I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills. "

Garry Shandling

" I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much. "

Garry Shandling

" I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I'm going in is eventually, you won't know if it's a joke or not. "

Garry Shandling

" I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents' influence on me. I've talked to a therapist,; I've looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it seems to come down to is that I'm a Sagittarius. Please don't make me reveal more than that. It's tough enough as it is. "

Garry Shandling

" I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. "

Garry Shandling

" It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside. "

Garry Shandling

" My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak? "

Garry Shandling

" When I give notes on a script, I say, 'Guys, I may drift, but it's part of the process.' So I'm aware that I'm drifting, but I'm grabbing a lot of stuff. "

Garry Shandling

" I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer. "

Garry Shandling

" I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn't have enough confidence to use a pen. "

Garry Shandling

" That's what we were exploring on 'Larry Sanders' - the human qualities that have brought us to where we are now in the world: the addiction to needing more and wanting more and talking more. We were examining the labels put on success - is it successful to be on TV every day, to be famous, to have a paycheck? "

Garry Shandling

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

Garry Shandling

" My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to do is see if I can write comedy.' ... I moved to L.A. stone cold. Didn't know anybody; didn't know how to go about it. Really started from scratch. "

Garry Shandling

" Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling. "

Garry Shandling

" I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad. "

Garry Shandling

" I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict. "

Garry Shandling

" I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session. "

Garry Shandling

" I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other one called 'Stop Hitting Me.' "

Garry Shandling

" Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think? "

Garry Shandling

" I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. "

Garry Shandling

" I'm proud of Larry Sanders and proud of every single person who went on that journey. It's a very special show to me, and I've learned a lot of lessons from it. I need to find something where I can learn some more lessons, and then I'll do that project. "

Garry Shandling

" I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two. "

Garry Shandling